Pure Gonzo Engineering

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

I've got a bad case of it's hot outside.

It’s hot as a motherfucker today, and humid to boot. I need to be out in the shop, which is not air-conditioned to deal with an issue with my design. Normally I wear long sleeves to cover up Icarus and the girls, but today it’s just too damn hot to wear a long sleeve undershirt and an outer shirt. This morning I had to do some thinking. How could I get away with a single layer and still not let the girl’s jugs see the light of day at work? Fuck if I care after work, but during work it’s unacceptable. (Which I’m cool with, if you don’t dig my shit then I’ll cover it up)

My solution was to run to the local grocer and get some ace bandages. No sooner than you could say hard nipples, my arm was covered. Crisis averted, core temperature maintained. Although this did present another interesting dilemma, if you’re not in the know then you may wonder what I did to my arm that would warrant bandaging.

So I decides to play it cool. Like the Fonz, and like Jack in “Fight Club” when he goes to work all bloody. I decide that if anyone asks me what I did to my arm. I’d say “Nothing” and nothing else. It would be so awkward for them that they would never bring it up again. Check-and-Mate. Engineers are such socially awkward people to begin with (most, not all), it’s been working like a charm.
Anyway, I’m quite literally comfortable and cool.

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Monday, June 27, 2005

Dining Room with stuff in it. Floors are done! Posted by Hello


Wood Floor with Poly Coat Posted by Hello


Cut up doorway Posted by Hello


Rear shot of cut-up door Posted by Hello


Plaster and such. Posted by Hello


I'm not sure what that wire is? Posted by Hello


Cut Away 2x4's Posted by Hello


I bruised my ass

This weekend we moved from our apartment to our house. The average high temperature on Saturday and Sunday was about 95°F. It was sunny and hot. Hotter than Dutch love, Hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock. It was hot. Myself and four other guys I know from work filled up a 26' truck in 2 hours and unloaded it in another 2 hours. Did I mention how hot it was? After we had steak and beer.

In order to get the Queen size box spring up the stairs, we had to do some demolition. The door frame leading upstairs was put in a long time ago, when people were shorter. I had to duck under it to go downstairs. Anyway, the box spring was not going to fit, so I started to chip away at the plaster to see what was under it. There were two true size 2x4's framing the doorway. They didn' t appear to be load bearingg part of the structure, so we got the reciprocating saw and dug in. After they were cut I hammered away some more plaster and pried them off the supports above. All in all we took about 7 inches out of the door frame. The box spring went up and we were able to sleep on it that night. Now I'll need to do some repair work to move the door frame up, or put an arch in it or something. The only other thing that went wrong during the move, was that we punched a small hole in the back of our couch. We got an insurance policy from the furniture place though, so they should repair it free of charge. I'd say we are now about 40% done unpacking. All we need to do now is clean up the apartment and we're fully moved.

We lost last night in hockey, and I fell and bruised my hip/ass. The pads shifted because I was extending myself, and they didn't protect me when I fell. My ass hurts today. We are now 1 point down on 2 other teams. We are 2-2 and they are both 2-1-1.

I'm really tired. This heat is unbearable. It's supposed to be 100°F on Wednesday.

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Friday, June 24, 2005

The South Park version of me.

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    Life's but a walking shadow

    As the population of Wisconsin Rapids now must know and several other cities in Wisconsin, I figured I would let the rest of the world know that I am going to be a daddy.

    That's right my wife is now about 12.5 weeks pregnant with our child. This last Monday we went to the doctor and saw it's heart beat for the 2nd time. At this point it actually looks human, past embryo stage into fetus stage. The baby is due date is January 3, 2006. First and foremost I hope it's alive and healthy, but secondly I hope that it decides to come kicking and screaming into the world some time in 2005. Firstly because I could then get a child tax credit for the entire year even though the child would have only been alive for a few days of the year. Secondly, Opposite of Dog's insurance gets shittier on January 1, 2006. If we have the baby sometime in 2005, almost all of the expense will be paid for by the company. If we do have it in 2006, we have to pay something like 10% of the bill up to $X.

    We are going to determine the sex at the 20 week doctors visit. No sense in leaving it a "surprise". I don't really care what the sex ends up being. I just want it to be alive and healthy.

    So what happens when two crazy people reproduce. Does a super crazy person unable to deal with reality come into existence, or is it like -1*-1=1? Or like ugly people having a good looking child and beautiful people having an ugly child. I don't know we'll have to wait and see.

    My parents have never sounded so excited on the phone when I told them. This will be their 4th grandchild, but up to this point in my life anything I've ever told them never made them more excited than this.

    So I'm 24 years old. When my father was this age, he already had a 3 year old. When I'm 42 the child will graduate from High School. When it is 24 and possibly having children, I will be 48 going on 49. Crazy shit. I guess the question is will this increase or decrease my fear of death? I do know that I need to get more life insurance now. Enough to pay off the house, cars, student loans, and all other debt, plus the child's college, plus money for my wife to live on for a while. Fucking responsibility, it always gets the best of you in this life.

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    Wednesday, June 22, 2005

    I should be able to determine which is the velocitator and which is the deceleratrix.

    So, it's T-minus 3 days until we move into the house. I've got the floors done. No pictures, I keep forgetting. They look pretty nice. The poly hides some errors, it's not perfect, but it's the best I could do at the time. When it comes time to sell it, people will only say: "Oh, look honey it has wood floors" Almost everything is done inside now. We have to paint the living room though, because we filled some holes and painted them with the old paint, and the walls had faded too much. So tonight we have to put a quick coat of the newer darker paint up. It shouldn't be too bad.

    I don't know why I have such distain for people in authoritative positions.

  • See Previous Encounter With Authority

  • We had a meeting with our Group President the other day, and I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to stand up and start yelling at him. Maybe it's because his salary is some $490,000/year, and his bonus last year was about $520,000. That's right kids; his bonus was bigger than his salary. At the end of the meeting everyone clapped, I did not.

    We now are the division leaders of Peoria "C" league hockey, after a 4-0 defeat of the Blue Team. I scored the game-winning goal. We are now 2-1. Speaking of sport and sports in general. I don't understand why people like to golf. I was kind of into it for a while in High School, but it just isn't all that fun. I think it goes back to the dislike of higher ups. I know all those dicks are out all the time with their other rich buddies golfing and talking about how well their portfolios are doing. I don't really fit into that sport. I could fit into that sport, I just don't want to. I've sold my soul enough at work that I don't need to do it in my leisure time. Part of the wonder and magic of having semi-visible tattoos is that I can fit in anywhere and have credibility. I walk into a tattoo parlor with a T-shirt on and I can spark up a conversation with the artist no problem. Yet, I walk into an important business interview with a suit on and I can talk about the amazing designs I've done and all the cost reductions I've given the company. I can go to Ozzfest and have people tell me how awesome my back piece is, and then turn around on Monday and get approved for a loan at the bank.

    Anyway, Things are going pretty well. No tragedy to deal with, only those bastard ants outside.

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    Friday, June 17, 2005

    Is someone getting the best of you?

    For some reason I feel good today. I shouldn't, I should be tired and angry. I should be mad I had to run all of the spoilable items from my apartment fridge to my house fridge at 2:00 am because the power was out JUST IN MY BUILDING and no where else in the city. All of the other building in our complex, in fact, had power.

    That doesn't really bother me though. Maybe it's because I can actually see the end of all the labor I've been putting into the house. Maybe it's because it's almost 100% that I'm going to get to go to the UK and visit Lincoln and Manchester. Or it could be that I know that it's pissing people off that I'm going to get to go. Usually people get to go to Bumble Fuck, USA to see some machine operating in a mine or on a pile of shit. You've got to think big though. It's Friday too, no matter what's going on, it can't be all that bad on Friday.

    I am a bit scared of Monday though. My immortality may be in jeopardy, and no... I am scared, not just a bit. I want everything to be fine. I don't want to deal with tragedy anymore. Have I ever told you how much I love you, and how strong you are? If I haven't then I should more often because you are.

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    Wednesday, June 15, 2005

    English Chestnut Up Close and Personal Posted by Hello


    Stained Floors #3 Posted by Hello


    Stained Floors #2 Posted by Hello


    Stained Floors (English Chestnut) #1 Posted by Hello


    Clouded Mind

    Last night I picked out a stain for the wood floors. We're going with English Chestnut. I stained the closet last night to see how it would look. I'm pleased with the color. You can kind of see the errors I made while sanding if you look close, but the closet will be the worst place since I used the edger for most of it. From standing up distance you really can't tell. I think it just gives the floor some character. Tonight I plan on staining the rest of the floor. Then tomorrow start the poly coats.

    Before I poly the closet I think I'm going to sign and date a corner, just to put a bit of myself into the work. So when some jackass in 30 years pulls up the floor, or someone refinished them again because they don't like the color, they'll be like: "Who the fuck was this guy who signed his name in the closet?" Then the moment will pass and they'll grab the pry bar or start the sander and it'll be gone. Dust in the wind, Shadows and dust, etc., etc.

    That's about all I've got right now


    Monday, June 13, 2005

    Metal. Steel. It's cold. Ugly. Wood is warm. Clean. Provided by nature. To see a piece of furniture take shape. It's like watching a child grow

    Another weekend is over. As you can see below, we were quite productive this weekend. We got the upstairs bedroom, the kitchen and the dining room painted. I also sanded the wood floor in the dining room. It looks nice. This week I’m going to pick out a stain and stain it and poly coat it. We also hung one of the light fixtures in the kitchen. Almost got the second one hung in the dinning room, but when I was wiring it, it fell and broke the light I had in it to test it. It was 9:00 at night so I was done.

    We have two rooms to paint, the floor to finish, the fan and light to hang… and that’s about it for the inside. Then we’ll be ready to move in.

    I also played some summer “C” league hockey this weekend. We won 8-7. I scored two tits goals. I should have had the hat trick, but I got dragged down on a breakaway I had. I still drew the power play, but I would have like the third goal. The first goal I had was perfect. Blocker side, top corner as far into the corner as you could possibly be. The puck hit and dropped straight down it was in such a taught part of the net. It was sweet. My team this season is so much better than the one I played on last winter. Everyone can skate, stickhandle, and pass OK. We play pretty well as a team. The teams are also much more balanced than they were last winter. Both of the games we played were decided by two goals or less. Hockey is so much fun. Most people don’t dig it because they can’t skate. Which is a shame, it rules.

    You know how in college when you first meet your roommate, it’s all fun and enjoyable. You talk about stuff and have a good time, but then as you start to be around them constantly all of the shit they do that you let slide initially just starts to bug the hell out of you. I hate that. Such is life right?
    I’m glad my wife an I avoided such things by living together for like 5 years before we got married. Speaking of which, we’re a day away from our 2-year wedding anniversary. I checked the back of my watch to make sure. “Burns: You will find true love on Flag Day. Why it's Flag Day today: gasp: True love at last!” June 14 is Flag Day.


    Sunday, June 12, 2005

    Sanded Floors Up Close and Personal. I don't understand the thought process of the person who decided to cover these up. Posted by Hello


    Sanded Floors #2 Posted by Hello


    Sanded Floors #1 Posted by Hello


    Friday, June 10, 2005

    My new hobby

    So I kind of have ADD when I'm at work. I can't work on something for more than about an hour before I need to be distracted for 10-15 minutes. I'm just as, if not more productive than anyone else in this place, I just need more time for my brain to recharge inbetween and during tasks.

    So lately I've been venturing into the seedy underbelly of Republican run Blogs to shake their tree a bit. Now most of these blogs write articles and vent about things that are marginally debatable and easy to defend their side. Most recently school vouchers on this one site I've been frequenting. On the surface it's easy to defend school vouchers. They help get children educated and cost tax payers less money, but deep down they are just perpetuating the problem. Anyway, it's a good time fucking with them. I write a couple paragraphs and then they respond with 9-10 paragraphs of rebuttal. Jesus you'd think they were rewriting the constitution or defending an innocent mans life. I've got news for all these nutjobs: BLOGS DON'T MEAN SHIT. I've said that from the beginning. A small handful of the unemployable and bored at work read your ramblings and they don't affect anyone. They take themselves way to seriously, and what I say WAY to seriously. I'm just a crazy young man trying to get by in this life. What do I know? I'll add some links to their blogs and you can check out their game for yourself.

    The gears are turning for the trip to the UK. It's very promising at this point. I don't want to jinx it though. I didn't think I was a very good salesman, but it turns out I did a pretty good job.

    Wood floors this weekend. I'll put up some before and after pics when I get a chance. This shit is starting to wear on me. I can't keep this up for too much longer.

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    I'm not sure what kind of wood that is? Posted by Hello


    Other corner Posted by Hello


    Floor ready to be sanded Posted by Hello


    Wednesday, June 08, 2005

    I'm all chapped

    The work continues...

    I've finally got all the fucking tack strips and staples and nails out of the hardwood in the dining room. What a bitch that was. Those staples are little devils. I got stuck about 4 times. I hope my Tetanus is up to date. After that I swept up the floor, and now it's about ready to sand down. I still need to put some wood putty in the nail and staple holes, but that should go pretty quick.

    Both of the bathrooms are 98% done. They will need some minor paint touch-ups.

    The plan for the next three days is to work the painting in the kitchen and dining room. So I'll need to tape everything, paint all the trim white, and then apply the orange-ish color. Hopefully I can get this all done so that it will have enough time to dry fully before we start to sand the dining room floors, which will start on Saturday.

    We're building shit now at work. I'm living right now, the reason all engineers become engineers: to see something you've designed and thought up become a reality. I gots to head over to the factory in a few here and oversee the build.

    Also, it looks like I sold my trip to Merry Old England. Sweet, nothing like seeing the world on someone else's dime.(Disclaimer: also to do work, of course!)

    Remember kids: That shit takes you when it takes you, ****er


    Monday, June 06, 2005

    I go to work so I don't have to work anymore

    Work keeps on going on the house. This weekend it feels like we didn't get a whole lot done, but maybe we actually did. I've got the outside trim about 85% done. I just need to touch everything up and do the two upstairs windows, and then do the windows were I accidentally got some paint on them. We also got the two bathrooms patched up, and the upstairs one painted. The downstairs is taped and primed and needs to be painted. We also started laying some new flooring in the upstairs bathroom. That's also about 85% done. Still need to lay the complex cuts around the toilet so that will take some time.

    This week I hope we can get the bathrooms DONE. After that I need to prep and paint the kitchen and dining room and pull the tack strips and molding in the dining room so we can finish the dining room floors this weekend. Whenever I tell people that I'm going to finish the hardwood floors they ask me if I've ever done it before. No, I haven't, but you have to learn sometime. Right? I'm sure it won't be easy, but it should be worth it.

    After that we need to paint the three bedrooms, paint the outside shutters and hang them, hang the lights and fan in the dining room and kitchen, and ... what else... I don't know. I'm sure there's more, but that's all that comes to mind right now. We've got 18 days until we move all our shit in. Hopefully we'll be all done in that time. It's not the end of the world if we're not, it just gets harder to do stuff when you have all kinds of crap in the way.


    Thursday, June 02, 2005

    Cleaned Up Backyard Posted by Hello


    Back and Garage Posted by Hello


    Side of House Posted by Hello


    Back of House After Posted by Hello


    Back of House Before Posted by Hello


    Front of House After (Still need to paint trim of windows the dark color and paint shutters and put them up) Posted by Hello


    Front of House Before Posted by Hello


    Wednesday, June 01, 2005

    Saint Jimmy

    What a weekend. I think it ranks among the most work I've ever done, ever. We put up 1600 square feet of shingles, repaired 3 sections of the deck overhang that were rotting and infested with ants (thank you very much Lucas Home Inspection FOR NOTHING), painted the entire outside of the house, and repaired some fencing so the dog won't get out of the yard. The house looks completely different now. I'll put some before and after pictures up when I get around to it.

    We still need to paint all the shutters and trim, but the bulk of the outdoor painting is done. We also discovered hardwood floors in the dining room so we are going to re-finish those this weekend, I think. I need to repair a small window in the garage, seed the lawn with some shade mix, trim back a hedge that is spreading into the driveway, hang some light fixtures and fans, and paint almost all the rooms in the house. Ah, the joys of homeownership. I don't mind doing this work though, since I actually own the house.

    My father-in-law is awesome. He paid for the roof and helped us put it up and painted the outside of the house with the sprayer. He also bought me a sweet ladder and all kinds of other small tools. He has two daughters so I'm gladly filling the roll of long lost son for him.

    It was 3-12 hour days and 1-8 hour day, but we probably added $10,000-$20,000 of value to the house.

    We also met some of the neighbors. They seem nice. The neighbors to the west of us are also a young couple. They have a baby daughter and a puppy(big, not sure what kind). The guy appears to be a doctor or is doing his residency or something, and the wife stays home with the baby.

    All in all, I'm very happy with the new house. There is some work to be done still, but once it's done it will be a nice place to live for 5-7 years.

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