Pure Gonzo Engineering

Monday, February 26, 2007

It’s my Birthday

I turn 26 today. In 4 more years I’ll be 30. That seems old.

There’s this weird ass custom at work that you have to buy food to bring in for your birthday. I think it’s really stupid. Shouldn’t someone buy food for me on my birthday?

Anyway here’s what I sent out to everyone to tell them food was available at my desk.

Just before I introduced the President for his big speech (when he came to Opposite of Dog), he took me aside and gave me these words of wisdom:

He said, "Andrew, if you don't bring treats in for your 26th birthday, the terrorists will have won."

Who am I to defy that logic. Stop by my desk and grab some food.

I could tell who the staunch Bush supporters were, because they didn’t stop by for a doughnut. It was more than 30% of the people I sent it to, so it tells you about the makeup of people who I work with.

Played some hockey last night. I got the goon award with 3 penalties in the game. They were all against the same guy. He should be playing in the A division, but he’s poaching in C.

The first penalty was legit. I play defense and he cut in to the net from the outside. I slashed his stick/wrists as he crossed in front of the goal thus preventing a goal.

The second penalty was as a result of Mr. A league checking (in a non-check league) our best player, a 17 year old kid who’s fast as hell but pretty small. He didn’t get a penalty for it and our whole bench was pissed. The next time he and I were on the ice at the same time, I cross-checked him and knee dropped onto him when he got too close to our goalie. As I rolled over him he punched me in the head. We got matching minors.

The third penalty was an accident on my part. He got by me and I was chasing him doing a little stick work on his stick. My stick got loose and rode up his stick and I tagged him in the face. He wasn’t wearing a cage so it was stick on skin contact. I’m not trying to hurt anyone long term so I immediately went over to him and looked to see if he was OK and apologized. I don’t think I hit him too hard, and I didn’t break the skin so he just smiled at me and said it was OK. I think he embellished it a bit.

So those were my three penalties. We ended up tying with them by pulling our goalie with one minute left. We scored with 10 seconds left to play. It was a really good game.

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Friday, February 23, 2007

I am Lawryde, destroyer of relationships

If you ever get the chance, don’t become my friend, don’t be my relative, and don’t even be an associate of mine. I’ll end up pissing you off. You’ll end up hating me, and unable to stand my company.

I’ve estranged more people in my life in the past few months than I can really even count. It’s my lack of social skills. I don’t understand what normal people need in any kind of relationship I have with them. I invariably say or do something that hurts or offends them.

Step one: Admitting You Have a Problem. Check.

On a side note, I’ve added tags to all 250+ posts. I’m trying to figure out how to put all the tag links on my sidebar for easy navigation. Enjoy.


Thursday, February 15, 2007

February is for F*cking

Wow, my first post of February and it’s the fucking 15th. It’s been a busy, cold month so far. The work and bullshit just keep piling up at work. The only thing that keeps me from going crazy is the fact that I’m going to be switching positions within the company within the next 6 months. I’m hoping to move into a test area, far less bullshit, far more real engineering.

I figured out what’s wrong with this company though. It’s full of “Yes Men”. No one is brave enough to raise their hand and call shenanigans. Everyone is so concerned with their carriers that they won’t say that the emperor is stark naked. We implement these whack-job ideas and no one with any power says anything, and when people without power say something they’re blackballed and labeled as not being a team player. We’re so bloated with middle management that there’s no one left with any expertise and engineering balls that can get things done.

Anyway, Carter has had a language explosion. He knows like 25 words and 15 signs. He’s so incredibly smart. I don’t really know what 13 month olds are supposed to be able to do, but he understands a lot. If you give him a piece of garbage and say go put that in the garbage, he’ll walk over and go set it on top of the garbage can. (He’s not tall enough to open it). It’s crazy.

I’m planning on getting a new tattoo some time next month with my bonus money. It’s going to be a sperm whale fighting a giant squid in an old school styling sort of way. Animals fighting has been done in tattoo form for quite some time, panther fighting a snake, tiger fighting a dragon, but I’ve never seen a sperm whale fighting a giant squid. It’s going to be fucking awesome. That should fill up the bulk area of my old school left sleeve. Then it will just be filler that needs to be done (stars, wavy cloud type things, etc.) to finish off the sleeve.

I’ll try to write more often since many of you must be suffering from Lawryde withdrawal.

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