Pure Gonzo Engineering

Friday, August 31, 2007

Dicking Around Reaches a Strange New Level

I’ve sat in a produce cooler drinking soda and eating exotic fruit.

I’ve ground up expensive steaks and priced them at $0.25 a pound for food to eat on break which would then last over an hour.

I’ve listened to Harry Potter and listened to DVD’s all day long at my Pro/E Station

But this is the most bizarre waste of time at work I’ve ever experienced. Right now I’m sitting on top of a hill in an open cab pipelayer listening to MP3’s. It’s about 65 degrees and sunny. All I need is a cold drink and it would be perfect.

Really I’m just waiting for a machinist to get my part done so I can run my test.

I’m on the outskirts of the WiFi network, but I can still access the internet.
I should be analyzing data or writing a report or something, but it’s the Friday before a holiday weekend. What so many people fail to realize is that work will always be waiting there for you. That attitude won’t take me to the top, and won’t make me a millionaire, but most millionaires are jackasses anyway.

Labels: , ,

Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Battle of Alpine Valley (At least the roads leading into it)

Saw Rage Against the Machine last night. We left for the 7:00 show at about 6:00 with an hour and 15 min drive. When we got to the exit for Alpine Valley, the traffic was backed up onto the freeway. We saw license plates from Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Illinois, Wisconsin, Ontario, and Missouri.

There was about 2.5 miles to get to alpine valley. It took us until 9:15 to get into the concert. It didn't really matter. I didn't buy the ticket to see Queens of the Stoneage. It was either sit in the car and wait, or stand in the mud with the drunks. (Southern Wisconsin has gotten tons of rain the last week, and Alpine Valley is a steep slope.

It worked out well, we got in, went to the bathrooms, and 15 min later Rage started to play. There was no rain, and it was a pretty cool night.

They were fucking awesome. We were pretty far up the hill, but it didn't matter. I'm too old and have a kid so I don't want to be in the pit getting punched and muddied. Tom Morello is a guitar God. The band sounded great. Zach decided to tell Fox News off as well. Below is the second part of a speech he gave. It started by him talking about saying that Fox News reported that he said the Bush administration should be assassinated at their reunion concert. He said they were Fascists and always get it wrong. He said that he had said the entire Bush administration should be TRIED, HUNG, and THEN SHOT. Then the video picks up the rest.

They closed up the show with Freedom, and Killing in the Name. Since we got there so late, we ended up getting in like the VIP parking area. We ended up getting out of the show pretty quick. It wrapped up at like 11:15, and got back to Hartford at about 2:00 AM after stopping for some taco bell. I read some other blogs about people getting stuck in the mud in some of the other lots they parked in early in the day. (The people that didn't wait hours to get in). They ended up having to wait 2 or 3 hours to get out. I was happy we waited on the front side.

Anyway, awesome show. My life feels a bit more complete now.

*Set List Edit*

Set: Testify, Bulls on Parade, People of the Sun, Bombtrack, Vietnow, Bullet in the Head, Take the Power Back, Tire Me, Guerilla Radio, Calm Like a Bomb, Sleep Now in the Fire, Wake Up > gov’t rant > Wake Up, Freedom > Township Rebellion* > Killing in the Name

Labels: , , ,

Monday, August 20, 2007

Blood and Pressure

I’ve been an absolute klutz the last few days. I slammed my knee into the side of our bed a few days ago. I’ve been smacking my head against things in our low basement, and last night I stubbed my second toe (ring toe?) as I was walking up stairs. I stubbed it bad, and it started to bruise and blood started to pool under the nail. I was uncomfortable all last night since it just wouldn’t quit throbbing.

It was still a painful this morning, and it put me in a foul mood. It was like this beacon pulsing whatever I was doing.

I finally decided to go to the nurse at work. The nurse here is set up pretty good since there is the potential for serious injury here.

I showed it to her and she said she could drill through it with a cauterizing tool they had. I said sure since it was still beaming with pressure.

She had me lay down and told me she was going to have to press on it and I may feel some discomfort. I felt my blood pressure rise which made the toe hurt even more. I told her to go ahead, and I lifted my head up to take a look.

“You like to watch?” She said in an oddly obscene and sexual way.

I just gave a halfhearted chuckle and she fired up the cauterizing pen thing. I didn’t really feel anything as it began to make a whirring sound. Then she broke through and there was a quick sharp pain. I gave a little “ah” of pain and I saw a spurt of blood come out from the hole she had opened in the nail. It immediately felt better. No more throbbing, just the soreness of the stubbing.

She gave me some ice to put on it and then dressed it. It feels pretty good now. Still a bit sore, but not like before.


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

An Old Beard Axiom

"There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless—boys and women—and I am neither one."


Monday, August 13, 2007

The Amazing Boy

I’m in complete amazement of Carter. He’s 19 months old yesterday, and his mind has just exploded.

I’ve lost count of how many words he knows now. It’s got to be in the hundreds. He can follow commands now, and wants to be helpful rather than destructive. He’ll put things away. He says when he’s ready to go to sleep. He’s awesome.

We were at an Attachment Parenting meeting on Saturday, and he walked up to a little baby and gently patted her head.

He grabbed a dump truck and was pushing it around bent over. As I watched him zoom around the room, my heart swelled up and I felt like I was going to start crying. He’s the most perfect little creation.

I know no one really gives a shit about other peoples kids, but when an emotion hits me that hard, I have to share it.


Friday, August 03, 2007

Two posts in one day-When's the last time that happened

I've got this other funny story, maybe not funny, but strange.

I am a test engineer, but we aren't allowed to actually run the machines for the tests. (I still get to play on them frequently) If you have real data to take though you need to have an Operator do it. Just like if you need something wrenched on, you get a Mechanic to do it. Union rules.

Most (all) of the Operators are grizzled old dudes.

So I need to do some slot dozing (digging a blade wide trench and creating a pile of dirt at the end) with a D8.

I grab a grizzled Operator, and we head out to the dozer pile where I've moved the machine to and have it all calibrated just right.

I explain what I need, and walk over to the machine with him from the truck. I figure he's going to do a machine walk around for safety and whatnot. He heads to the front of the blade and I kind of follow. He mentions something about the cutting edge being dull with his back to me.

All of a sudden he's taking a leak.

I make a 180 and head around like I'm checking something out.

Now I've got nothing against a dude taking a piss in front of another dude, but give me some heads up. Say, "Man I shouldn't have drank all that coffee this morning." Or, since he was old "Shit my prostate if flaring up again I need to squeeze a few drops out."

This also is the year 2007 and women also work at our facility. I wouldn't be whipping my Bishop out unless I was damn sure that no ladies who could get me fired were around. I don't even like tightening my belt if I'm not in the bathroom because I think people might think something funny.

He finished up, and we started testing. Midway through the test, while I was uploading some data, I saw him get out of the machine and take a leak again.

He was all cool when we were talking. He didn't think anything of it. I should feel good though that he felt comfortable enough to do that in front of me. I think that's a sign of trust. (in some cultures)

Labels: ,

It's Lawryde to you.

I’ve got a few moments here and I finally have some things to say.

I really like my new job, and got some big accolades from my boss after completing my first test report


This is an excellent letter - well written, concise, action oriented recommendations, and easy to understand. In the attached file, you will see that I do propose a few edits, and I have also inserted some comments and questions that I'd like to discuss (or that you can just answer by email if you prefer). Please make the changes you feel are warranted and send it back, and we will get it published. Nice job.

B*** D***

My wife really deserves most of the credit for my above engineer average writing skills. In college she made sure my writing wasn’t garbage and apparently taught me well.

There is this one dude who keeps calling me by the shortened version of my name. Everyone else calls me by my full name, yet he feels it’s ok to shorten it. I don’t really want to bring it up to him and sound like a dick, but I hate it when my name is shortened. It’s the apostle who’s name starts with A, and I can’t stand how the shortened version sounds. It makes me feel like I’m being called like a little child. It’s not Law or Ryde or Lawy, it’s fucking Lawryde.

I read that the bridge that collapsed in Minnesota was deemed structurally unsafe back in the 90’s. I’m sure it wasn’t fixed because there wasn’t enough tax money to go around. People shouldn’t bitch about taxes. They pay for the roads you drive on, the schools you have, the police and fire protect you enjoy, and many other infrastructure niceties people take for granted. When there isn’t enough money, bridges fall down, crime goes up, shit falls apart. TAXES ARE GOOD. THEY HELP EVERYONE.

Labels: , , ,

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Lawryde Simpsonized