Pure Gonzo Engineering

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Precious Lord, Take My Hand... Lead me On, Let me Stand

Here are some posts from FreeRepublic.com about Terri Schiavo's death:

To: getmeouttaPalmBeachCounty_FL

Michael denied the Schindlers access to Terri may Michael Schiavo ROAST IN HELL for this!!!

86 posted on 03/31/2005 7:01:47 AM PST by Schwaeky (Impeach Judge Greer NOW!!!! Disbar Felos NOW!!! Arrest Michael Schiavo NOW!!!!!)
Post Reply Private Reply To 50 View Replies ]

To: Petronski

Vengeance is The Lord's and I pray that he pour out his wrath upon those responsible for the taking of Terri's life.

60 posted on 03/31/2005 6:59:35 AM PST by def_dave7
Post Reply Private Reply To 32 View Replies ]

To: piperpilot

Terri..... The arms of Heaven welcome you home.... Your life was never in vain. God has His precious arms around your body and He welomes you..

61 posted on 03/31/2005 6:59:59 AM PST by JFC ( President Bush, You are being prayed for along with our country daily, by millions of us.)
Post Reply Private Reply To 38 View Replies ]

I've got two things to say about this. Shouldn't all these crazy bastards be really, really happy she died. I mean, if she's truly in heaven right now (not a vegetable I would guess), then it should be cause for celebration. That brings up another question: What if she was an evil sinful bitch before she had the brain damage? What if she hadn't accepted Jesus into her heart? She might be being tortured in hell right now. Everyone always says nice things about people when they die, just because they're dead. Even if some asshole dies, you still say, "Yeah, he was a good guy. He'll be missed"

I also think that it would piss "God" off, if you are damning people to hell and calling them names and wishing his wrath upon them. Wasn't Jesus' whole mantra about turning the other cheek and loving thy neighbor and helping the least of my brothers. Oh well, it just proves what I've been saying all along. Just a bunch of hypocrites.

All I know is that I would rather be sniffing markers right now with the Arc Angel Michael. (Five points if you know what that's from)


Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Everything is a Diary

Today when I woke up I thought I was ready to tell everyone what happened, and why I feel the way I do right now. That part of the twelve step program where you admit to the group what is truly wrong with you... Step 1? Right now though, I don't really feel that way. Maybe it's the sunny 70° weather that cheered me up from last night. They say you can't really make yourself any better until you've hit rock bottom. Wherever bored and disillusioned are located, that's where I am.

Is it wrong I feel good about the earthquake happening in that country I'll never go to so people will stop talking, at least for a minute or two, about stupid fucking Terri Shiavo and her Xth day without food or water? Let's talk about all the poor kids around the world who go days without food and water, shall we? Nah, that's not good news. It doesn't sell advertising space. It doesn't further the Republican agenda, the Religious Rights agenda. Oh, that's right I said it. If the homosexuals have an agenda (to live and work as equals and be happy while wearing fashionable clothing?) then these devious bastards must have an agenda.

This is your biography... Getting more and more boring day by day, as less and less people keep on reading.


Sunday, March 27, 2005

We are the Bad News Bears of Peoria C League Hockey

Last night my hockey team played the "stacked" team in our division. Needless to say we lost 0-6. We played pretty well, it's just that the guys we were playing had a full bench and each one of their players can skate and puck-handle. Shit, we have a 78 year old man on our team, and we only had 5 subs on the bench.

Our whole team is a bit salty about how the league is. The teams are not evenly matched at all. Since this is the lowest level league, you can't have a team roster. The teams are just supposed to be randomly put together. The one loop-hole is that you can ask to be put on with 2-3 other people for ride-share purposes. So every season this team is the same group of guys, all of which are talented. The team I am on is basically all of the guys who didn't have any other people they wanted to be with.

I think we'd all had about enough last night. Some of the highlights included one of our players being ejected in the third period after starting a fight with some fat fuck on their team who is a dirty player to begin with. This fat bastard was hooking and tripping on of our other players, and the guy who got ejected came over and, in his words, "just hit him in the head". Some minor fisticuffs later, he and the fat guy got ejected.

Another incident involved myself and some middle aged dude who should be in B league who thinks he's hot shit. He boarded me the last time we played them, so I had some Karmic Retribution for him.

I play defense, so it's my job to clear any assholes from in front of the net. In the third, Stu decided to park himself in front of the net. I got up in front of him, and gave him an elbow to the chest. I didn't think it was all that hard, but it did give that dull thud noise. I could tell immediately that he wasn't thrilled about this. The play moved out of our zone, leaving Stu and I skating towards their zone. He was behind me and I knew some shit was coming. All of a sudden I feel a kick to my right skate. My panther like reflexes allow me to compensate and not fall down. Stu, however, wasn't ready to hit a wall with his foot.

The jackass tries to trip me, and he ends up almost falling down himself. He stumbles forward and regains his balance. I start laughing my ass off, and tell him if he's going to retaliate at least do it right. He didn't even turn around or do anything, I showed him who's balls are bigger. He's damn lucky he didn't make me fall backwards, or I would have introduced my stick to the back of his legs.

Ahh, good fun. 3 more games left in the winter season. These are the most fun. I can't wait till next weekend.


Thursday, March 24, 2005

I'm doin' just fine

Every so often I get these rushes of fear. Like I'm a caged animal just waiting to be put to sleep.

The cold harsh reality that some day my life will end.

That the cosmic joke is that we are animals with histories.

Someone else on some other plain of existense is laughing their ass off at us.

In 10 years will anyone know who Teri Schiavo is?

In 300 years will it matter what car I drove in 2005?

In millions of years when the sun engulfs the earth as it supernovas, will it matter that I designed a muffler bracket on a track-type tractor?

Isn't it an insult to God to say that you can quantify the "word of God" using any human language? How can you describe something divine with words?

"Take courage mortal, death cannot banish you from the universe."-Benjamin Franklin

I like that. Ben was a Deist. I think he got it right.


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow...

Well, I'm all caught up again. I'm just kind of waiting now. I'm pretty sleepy. I wish I knew of a good place to take a nap. I think I'll go to google and look up people I know and see what comes up. Maybe someone's made it big, killed someone, had tragedy strike, invented the next pet rock. Probably not though, everyone is just kind of living... kind of waiting.

I love Starburst jelly beans. They rule.

Still just waiting... for the end of the day... for the end of work... just waiting.

I think I need a new tattoo.


Monday, March 21, 2005

Just another day blasting across the cornfields of Illinois in a coconut powered monkey-mobile

Ah back at work after 2.5 days off. It feels pretty good. Enough to do for a full day (almost, still enough time to write a little something).

Strange goings on all through this week and weekend. My best friend from High School and his wife found out less than a week ago they are having a baby in June. That would be a shock to find out that you are that far along and only have a few months to plan. I'm not going into the details of how something like that can happen, but trust me it can.

Why are Republicans so stupid? Why don't they believe science? Let that poor bitch die in Florida. Or better yet, get a pet rock and name it after her. You'll get the same response. That's right life is precious... I guess if you believe AIDS is transmitted through sweat, you can believe that a brain dead human being can be brought back to normal levels of intelligence.

Enough random crap. I have work to do. Seriously. I mean it. Actually work. Right now.


Friday, March 18, 2005

Saint Patrick's Day: The Aftermath.

Yesterday, I went on a Mcpub crawl to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. 9 bars in 4.5 hours. It was lots of fun, other than my wife not enjoying herself. We can never have fun at the same time. It's some sort of unwritten rule.

As I got drunker and drunker I started to talk more and more like Hunter S. Thompson. Since his death I've been reading tons of his work and watching all kinds of movies and documentaries about him. Also there is the title of the blog.

I don't know what it all means. Maybe I can't deal with who I am right now so I choose to project into someone else.

Last night I dreamt about fucking, but two nights ago I dreamt about my car not starting. More crap ass dreams. I should just dream about working, that way I could do it for 16 hours a day. It's been nice being on vacation for the last 2.5 days though.

I just finished reading "Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk. He's an amazing author. All of his protagonists are anit-heros that you grow attached to throughout the book. I highly recommend reading one of his books: Fight Club, Survivor, or Choke. It will broaden you horizons.

Tomorrow I get to see my best friend from high school. I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully tonight I won't dream about waiting in line at the post office. Fuck, now I will...


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

God I hate basketball

All you basketball fans can go to hell.

That's right Fuck you.

March Madness can lick my sweaty balls.

People need to stop trying to relive old high school glory, and living vicariously through their favorite team.

It's really a sad social commentary, my life is so lame and stupid that I need to pour every bit of energy into (1) rooting for a basketball team (2) scientifically dissecting the bracket (3) talking incessantly about who will upset who and who's team has better coaching, or stats, or whatever the fuck.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy watching a good game of almost anything. People take it too fucking far though. Then they bitch about athletes who are paid to much and who are into drugs and sex. Yet every week they plop down in front of the tube and watch captain jackass score and do his athletic business. I say let him smoke crack and have crazy orgies in his spare time if he wants.


Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Diesel Power

I slept really poorly last night. I had a dream I was sick. What a terrible dream. In it, I was congested, had aches, and had general feelings of malaise. How messed up is that to have a dream where all you do is feel sick in it. It felt like I spent hours upon hours just lying in bed being sick, even though in real life I'm feeling fine. I couldn't have dreamt about being serviced by multiple nymphomaniacs? Perhaps a dream about playing hockey, or going on a nice vacation? No, I dreamt about being ill.

Now I'm groggy and trying to deal with this day at work. I wish I had something to design. Anything, a bracket, a tube, anything. I am, however, stuck doing busy work that requires no deep thought or insight.

I think I'll expand my neural network by reading.


I feel like a dick.

As I'm typing this paramedics are caring for an apparently ok diabetic engineer in my section. About 30 minutes ago a configuration engineer came to me to do some work, and said GWH was asleep. We had a laugh, because he's a bit of an anti-social, work hater. I didn't find it all that weird that he was taking a nap in the middle of work. The guy I sit next to went and asked him if he was ok, and he said yes.

About ten minutes later I went to take a leak and to take a peak myself. He looked like an old man laying back in his chair sleeping. I thought it looked funny, but it didn't bother me. I knew he is diabetic, but I still did nothing.

The guy I sit next to and I went over to another engineer to joke with him about it. He decided to go over and check on him, then told our boss. The result was EMT's and paramedics called to the scene. Sugars were administered. GWH is OK. Matt was the hero today, not myself, and not the guy I sit next to. We were the childish ones. We could have stopped it faster. We felt better to laugh though. It makes me feel like a dick. Pressure and tragedy situations always show you what type of person you are. I've done better in the past, but today I failed.


Monday, March 14, 2005

Yeah, this is how I chose to spend a free afternoon. Posing here with a monkey putting chestnuts up my ass.

This post has been censored due to my coworkers finding out where this blog is.


Sunday, March 13, 2005

V is for Victory

Well after something like a 6 game loosing steak, my hockey team and I finally got a W. We beat the black team 5 to 2. I had one goal and one assist. I felt really good out there for the first time in quite some time. I wasn't winded, and was able to keep the intensity up for 3 periods, even though we only had one and a half lines. I wish I played more than once a week. Skating feels so good and always puts me in a good mood.


Friday, March 11, 2005

Looks like someone's got a case of the Friday's

I have no desire to be here. The highlight of the morning was when Doug Fresh came over and told me that Rolling Stone's March 24 issue will be an homage to Hunter S. Thompson. On the rolling stone website there are some excerpts from the stories they will have in the issue. The funniest one is a memo HST sent out when he was working at Rolling Stone.

To all employees without exception

Why is the staff so fucking lazy? It's getting so I can't even walk fast through the hallways any more without stumbling over some freak on the nod.
Is it drugs? Has it come to that?

If so, by God, we're going to clean it up pretty damn fast. My attorney has worked out a series of disciplinary measure that will zap this thing where it lives. Henceforth, anyone caught with narcotics, crazy pills or other stupor inducing agents will be dragged down to the basement and have his scrotum torn off.....And, conversely, any offender without a scrotum will have one permanently attached to her.

We feel such measures are necessary, even vital, to the health of this organization. This is the unanimous opinion of the Sports Staff, & as editor, I mean to enforce it.

We will play no favorites. Beginning on the day after Christmas, any employee caught nodding out, jacking off, or otherwise squandering company time, will pay the penalty.

This is a business -- not a goddamn dude ranch, and any salaried person who feels he/she cannot abide by these new regulations, had better get out NOW.

There will be no second warning. Copies of this notice will be posted in every corridor and they shall not be defaced.

Raoul Duke
Sports Editor

(Excerpted from RS 970, March 24, 2005)

That is some funny shit. I immediately had sick fantasies of breaking into our division leaders office and changing several words in the above memo to reflect engineering and sending it to all the people in the building.

Is it wrong that I have these anti-social, anti-work, anti-corporate feelings?

I'm not sure. I feel very two faced though. I'm a model worker on the outside. I meet deadlines with designs that are under cost, creative, and functional. I interact well with my fellow workers.

But right under the button down shirt and khakis are the 50+ hours of tattooing. If it wouldn't mean I would be doomed to work at a Jiffy lube my whole life, I'd get hand and neck tattoos as well. Further still in my brain are these ideas to fuck the system before it savagely penetrates me.

That's a nice mental image to stop on.


Thursday, March 10, 2005

Bad Noise

I got to drive the truck today... I feel like a man at 17 cents/mile. I normally don't drive it because we live farther from my work than my wife's. Opposite of Dog doesn't actually pay me $315,000 so I still need to be tight sometimes.

I've had a fuck-it attitude as of late though. If you don't know why then you're not "IN". Needless to say I still don't feel like telling the world. You feel like you've achieved immortality and then it gets struck down by fate. There's always next month...


I had no faith in the essential decency of the White Man's Culture

Oh Man, they've thrown me a bone. I got a brand new office chair. This thing is the Cadillac of office chairs. I mean this thing is tits. I was basically sitting for eight hours on a piece of wood before I got this thing. The higher ups already got these wonderfully thrones, but the rest of us hired geeks didn't get them. We had to prove a special need. Luckily my boss saw me stretching my back after lunch, and asked me what was up. I told him about a nasty back pull I got playing hockey about a month ago. KAZAM! New chair for me.


Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I've always thought Blogs are kind of dumb

, but I decided to start one anyway. If nothing else, it will give me something to do at work, other than work. I'm an engineer at that place that's opposite of Dog. We make big machines and I live 1/3 of my days in an open air cube. It's not so bad, I get paid, I get to use the web.

I often wonder what people did at work before they could go online and dick around. I think I'd go insane. Although I'm slowly going insane working here. I was semi-cool about a year two years ago... back in college. I had kind of the punk thing going, which gave me several tattoos. (Full back piece, right sleeve, other small extras).

Now I'm turning into a square. I figure the insanity I'm experiencing is a result of the transformation. Getting the mail is actually a highlight of my day. That's so fucking sad. I'm trying pretty hard though not to be like the rest of the zombie engineers. I try to dress fashionably, wear cool belt buckles, and also wear ties. You'd think that would make me more of a square, but since everyone here hates ties, I wear them to piss them off.

My rebellion has gone from getting naked women on my lower forearm to wearing flamboyantly colored ties. Jesus Christ

I live in Peoria, IL. I used to live in Madison, WI. Politically it's like moving from Sweden to Saudi Arabia. One of the most progressive places in the USA to one of the most conservative. We (my wife and I) mind as well be in the deep south even though we're only 1/3 of the way down IL. Oh yeah, Fuck the Illini and there stupid ass basketball team. God I hate basketball.

That will do for now. I feel less crazy. Maybe I'll make it to 25 before loosing it all. 353 days till that though.

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