Looks like someone's got a case of the Friday's
I have no desire to be here. The highlight of the morning was when Doug Fresh came over and told me that Rolling Stone's March 24 issue will be an homage to Hunter S. Thompson. On the rolling stone website there are some excerpts from the stories they will have in the issue. The funniest one is a memo HST sent out when he was working at Rolling Stone.
To all employees without exception
Why is the staff so fucking lazy? It's getting so I can't even walk fast through the hallways any more without stumbling over some freak on the nod.
Is it drugs? Has it come to that?
If so, by God, we're going to clean it up pretty damn fast. My attorney has worked out a series of disciplinary measure that will zap this thing where it lives. Henceforth, anyone caught with narcotics, crazy pills or other stupor inducing agents will be dragged down to the basement and have his scrotum torn off.....And, conversely, any offender without a scrotum will have one permanently attached to her.
We feel such measures are necessary, even vital, to the health of this organization. This is the unanimous opinion of the Sports Staff, & as editor, I mean to enforce it.
We will play no favorites. Beginning on the day after Christmas, any employee caught nodding out, jacking off, or otherwise squandering company time, will pay the penalty.
This is a business -- not a goddamn dude ranch, and any salaried person who feels he/she cannot abide by these new regulations, had better get out NOW.
There will be no second warning. Copies of this notice will be posted in every corridor and they shall not be defaced.
Sincerely,
Raoul Duke
Sports Editor
(Excerpted from RS 970, March 24, 2005)
That is some funny shit. I immediately had sick fantasies of breaking into our division leaders office and changing several words in the above memo to reflect engineering and sending it to all the people in the building.
Is it wrong that I have these anti-social, anti-work, anti-corporate feelings?
I'm not sure. I feel very two faced though. I'm a model worker on the outside. I meet deadlines with designs that are under cost, creative, and functional. I interact well with my fellow workers.
But right under the button down shirt and khakis are the 50+ hours of tattooing. If it wouldn't mean I would be doomed to work at a Jiffy lube my whole life, I'd get hand and neck tattoos as well. Further still in my brain are these ideas to fuck the system before it savagely penetrates me.
That's a nice mental image to stop on.
To all employees without exception
Why is the staff so fucking lazy? It's getting so I can't even walk fast through the hallways any more without stumbling over some freak on the nod.
Is it drugs? Has it come to that?
If so, by God, we're going to clean it up pretty damn fast. My attorney has worked out a series of disciplinary measure that will zap this thing where it lives. Henceforth, anyone caught with narcotics, crazy pills or other stupor inducing agents will be dragged down to the basement and have his scrotum torn off.....And, conversely, any offender without a scrotum will have one permanently attached to her.
We feel such measures are necessary, even vital, to the health of this organization. This is the unanimous opinion of the Sports Staff, & as editor, I mean to enforce it.
We will play no favorites. Beginning on the day after Christmas, any employee caught nodding out, jacking off, or otherwise squandering company time, will pay the penalty.
This is a business -- not a goddamn dude ranch, and any salaried person who feels he/she cannot abide by these new regulations, had better get out NOW.
There will be no second warning. Copies of this notice will be posted in every corridor and they shall not be defaced.
Sincerely,
Raoul Duke
Sports Editor
(Excerpted from RS 970, March 24, 2005)
That is some funny shit. I immediately had sick fantasies of breaking into our division leaders office and changing several words in the above memo to reflect engineering and sending it to all the people in the building.
Is it wrong that I have these anti-social, anti-work, anti-corporate feelings?
I'm not sure. I feel very two faced though. I'm a model worker on the outside. I meet deadlines with designs that are under cost, creative, and functional. I interact well with my fellow workers.
But right under the button down shirt and khakis are the 50+ hours of tattooing. If it wouldn't mean I would be doomed to work at a Jiffy lube my whole life, I'd get hand and neck tattoos as well. Further still in my brain are these ideas to fuck the system before it savagely penetrates me.
That's a nice mental image to stop on.
Labels: Philosophy
posted by lawryde at
9:15 PM
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