Pure Gonzo Engineering

Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Morning of June 19, 2014

I haven’t written anything on this blog in quite a while. I tried to pick it back up when I moved to MKE and started working at the now Opposite of Dog consumed company. I’m not really sure why I stopped. Maybe I had more stuff going on, maybe I was busy.

I don’t know. I’m in a pretty low place right now.

On the surface you’d be very valid in wondering why the hell that is. I’ve got lots of good things. A wife and kids who care about me, a good paying easy work job, a second house we are renovating to move into, any number of people I could talk to and be friends with.

Yet I feel like wanting nothing more than to sleep. Sleeping makes me happy, waking up pulls me down. Nothing bad is happening during the day. It just feels like a painful process to my mind. I would rather just stay in bed and sleep most of the day.

The depression is just on top of me, suffocating me, smiling while I lay there in pain. I’m trying to move forward, but it’s not easy. I hope this helps. I hope this is the ball starting to roll down the mountain.