Gaming the system

I’m constantly told by Conservative coworkers-family-jackasses that there are thousands upon thousands of lazy bastards who are just living off the government and stealing their taxes.

OK, they are playing the system. I concede that and those people do exist.

The revelation I had though came when I was talking to my wife about a person we know who owns investment properties, but intentionally looses money on them to get a tax benefit from them.

How is this any different than the person who has found a way to live off welfare? The person with the investment properties is gaming the system to pay fewer taxes. Is it ok because they are doing it in a more clever way than the person who is able to avoid getting a job. I think that’s pretty clever too.

All the rich jerks who exploit every possible tax shelter, deferral, and loophole are just as bad as the lazy dude gaming welfare. They are making it just as bad for everyone in the middle who just sucks it up and pays what they have to and works.

Please Shut the Fuck Up about Socialism

http://www.ntu.org/main/page.php?PageID=19

Obama plans to raise the maximum tax bracket rate by like 3 or 4% making it still lower than it was from 1932 to 1986 and again from 1993 to 2001.

Holly shit, Lenin must be smiling in his glass box in Red Square.

Or maybe it's Che laughing at the stupid American's in his tomb.

I don't know

Seriously, you make your money within the framework of a society. It benefits you to pay into that society to improve it.

Socialism it is not. It's pretty much exactly what the framers of the constitution had in mind.

and remember, I know it feels funny not being in power, but it's OK. Things will be OK.

I Keep it All Up Here So I Can't be Replaced

As the economy continues it's downward spiral into oblivion, Opposite of Dog is taking measures to continue making money. Kind of freaks me out. Back when I got hired it was kind of on the upswing of the 9-11 economic downturn, and I there were some times when we cut back on travel and hiring, but now they are doing things that concern me, getting rid of contract scum (and I say that lovingly), reducing or eliminating raises for promotions or developmental moves, checking cell phone records to make sure you're using it at an appropriate level. I'm guessing internet usage is next, that's why I'm posting this on a Sunday morning. I've made a concentrated effort to reduce my at work internet time.

I've also decided to block the Opposite of Dog IP addresses from this blog. I'm using toolator.com, and I haven't had a chance to test it yet, but it worked blocking my home IP so it should block the Opposite of Dog IP.

Some people are having less work to do, or are getting shuffled to other programs as certain programs get their budgets taken away or reduced. Luckily I work on a product that is high volume and high profile. It's one of those linchpins to future success. I've got tests planned out for me through 2009.

On a non-end-of-days note, I scored my first B-League goal (maybe that's not true, I can't remember if I scored at all during summer league?) during our second win of the season. It felt pretty good. I always feel like I'm being judged and evaluated while playing even though this is a fucking rec league.

Where is Lawryde

My lack of posting isn't because I've secretly met another group of people who read the boring crap that happens in my life. I wouldn't treat you like that, I swear.

No, I've just kind of been busy following our downward spiral into financial anarchy, posting on the Attachment Parenting of Peoria message board (I guess I may be cheating on you a bit), saving the world one hydraulic system at a time at work, starting to believe that maybe the American dream and the amazing thing that is America may actually happen if/when Obama is elected president, planning my sweet ass Halloween costume, getting excited for Guitar Hero 4 coming out, and perhaps the most important and time consuming thing, growing my hair out. I'm hoping to get here:



Then here:


Having a kick ass sweatband collection is my main draw to having long hair.

and finally perhaps here:



Don't think I'd end up gong that long, but the burning heart thing is cool.

Dear United States Government

While you are working so hard over the weekend, I would like to propose a rider, or amendment, or whatever the hell it's called (I guess I didn't pay attention in ninth grade government class... sorry Mr. Topp) to the 700 BILLION dollar bailout of all these greedy banks and insurance companies. I would like you to add an extra .00000214% to that and give me like 150,000 dollars.

The money would be spent to pay off the $105,000 remaining on my mortgage which we can pretend is sub-prime and is destroying the economy.

The remaining $45,000 will be used to pay off credit card debt, student loans, and my car loans which we can pretend were predatory in nature and are destroying the economy.

The result will be an extra $2150 I can pump into the economy every month. So in less than 6 years you'll have all that money circulating back into the economy. Won't that be awesome.

Gee you guys and galls are swell.

So I'll just wait for that check, and remember it's Lawryde with a y not an i. We wouldn't want to have any difficulty at the bank would we?

Somewhere Between Jesus and Huey P. Newton

I saw one of the laborers (lowest level worker at the sandbox, not unionized, not an Opposite of Dog employee) from the sandbox at Kroger last night in the self checkout area.

He was like, “Do I know you?”

I was all, “Yeah, I work at the Sandbox.”

And he comes back at me with, “Now I see why you wear long sleeves all the time.”

“Yup,” I retort.

We chat a bit further. Carter is in the cart so we talk about him for a minute and then he finishes checking out.

What struck me about that conversation was that I barely see this dude 2 times a week in passing, maybe more, maybe less.

The one thing about me though that stands out in his mind is that this dude is always wearing long sleeves, even if it’s 90° and sweltering in the shop.

He must not be alone. I’ve found that your blue collar worker will ask you why the fuck you’re wearing long sleeves when it’s 90° outside, the engineer will not. I’ll typically be straight with the blue-collar worker and tell him I’m heavily inked and I don’t want to stifle my career, to the engineer I will not (unless I know they’re cool.)

Because I face this discrimination and prejudice. In that way I have a kindred bond between the angry feminists I was arguing with in the past. We are both being discriminated against because of something about us. I understand what it’s like to be stared at. I understand what it’s like to have your opinions questioned for no other reason than what you look like. My glass ceiling is covered in ink.

I have no control over my urge to become more and more heavily tattooed. I’m taping into something that’s been done for over 5000 years by humans. It’s been passed down from the iceman on.

I really, really, really want to get neck and hand tattoos. At that point the discrimination would be over the top and I’d most likely be out of a job. I still have a lot of torso and all my lower body left though.

It’s a Special Day in Peoria

Gas has broken the $4.00 per gallon barrier!!! At the bottom of the hill of the sandbox it’s $4.08 per gallon. How does that play in Peoria? I don’t know… That’s kind of a stupid saying anyway. My vehicles get about 21 and 29 mpg in the city. Each month I spend roughly $150 on gasoline when it was around $3.75. I use a Chase Marathon oil card and get 5% back in gas cards. So I’m really only paying $3.88 a gallon. The best thing I ever did though was sell my 14 mpg Silverado a few years ago.

This is really going to start screwing shit up in the economy. All those hard working blue-collar dudes with full size trucks are going to have to start shelling out $100 each time they fill up. These are the same dudes that don’t like living in the city and have to travel 20 miles one way to get groceries and go to work. Stupid. I have relatively fuel-efficient vehicles, and I live right in the middle of Peoria. I drive 14 miles round trip to work.

So the first internal combustion engine was designed in 1806, and from 1806 to around 1998 the cost of gas went up to .96 per gallon (in Wisconsin Rapids, the lowest I’ve ever paid.) in 192 years. In the next ten years it’s gone up $3.12. I don’t really have a point, it’s just interesting, and I’m sure if you adjust for inflation it’s been really expensive at other times.

Anarchy in The Opposite of Dog

Today was get paid to play Guitar Hero III day.

My buddy DG and I traveled from the Sandbox to the technical center of Opposite of Dog. It's where all of the advanced research and development happens at our Fortune 50 company.

At first we were a bit hesitant because there was no one in the large hallway where the talent/hobby show was going to take place. We hooked up the PS2 to the big flat screen LG television.

As it got closer to the start time, more people showed up and we started to play.

Overall it went pretty well. People are inherently interested and can't help be a bit impressed with the speed and fury of expert. There were a few comments, but it was no big thing.

We had fun, and got to crank up Bulls on Parade, Knights of Cydonia, One, My Name is Jonas, and Anarchy in the UK in the hallowed conservative halls of Opposite of Dog.

If felt good on that level, and the level of getting paid to fuck around.

DJ Nuke

I'll pimp this site, because it's a friend.

DJ Nuke

It's got some pretty good streaming music. I think you'd like it Steve. The first track is some Social Distortion.

Enjoy.

Jury Duty Day’s 2 and 3

I’m all done with jury duty. I didn’t get picked for any cases and they filled them all for the week.

Tuesday was really boring. I sat in the jury holding pen for most of the day, and only got called in for a traffic case. I didn’t make it in to the jury box. That one would have been nice to be on. It was a suspended license thing with only two potential witnesses. It would have been done that day.

Yesterday we didn’t have to show up until 10:30. Before being brought in for a misdemeanor trial, they asked for volunteers for coroner’s jury. I decided not to try to get in on that since I didn’t want to look at pictures of dead people.

The misdemeanor trial was a dude was accused of beating (kicking and punching) his kid. As they questioned the initial twelve they put in the box, one of the questions was do you use corporal punishment on your kids, and do you think that kids should not be physically disciplined in any case. Sadly, most people did, in fact, hit their kids, and EVERY single on said it was ok to physically discipline their child. I wish I had been questioned in that one. It’s never OK to smack a child. What does that teach them? Fear is your only God. I don’t want that kind of relationship with Carter. I want him to respect me out of love and caring, not fear and pain. One lady talked about how her parents beat her and her siblings with a hairbrush and a belt, and she thought it was justified.

Once they picked the twelve, the rest of us who had survived the entire three days without getting on a case were let go for the week. Overall it wasn’t too bad, I got to do some reading and made about $50 over my normal salary.

Court is a weird place though. It’s like it’s own little universe, a microcosm of what’s going on outside with special rules and procedures for doing everything.

I’m happy to be back in the dirt.

I Know I Got a Tattoo for a Reason

Jury Duty Day 1

I show up at about 8:40 and get put in the jury holding pen. I’m reading my book about Hunter S. Thompson and the room starts to fill up. After about 30 minutes we all get called into the courtroom for jury selection for a civil trial. It’s a malpractice lawsuit. Doctor Vs. Disgusting man and woman who’ve had bad things happen to them. (Yeah, I’m a fucking dick), but I don’t want to be there. I’d rather be at work running a test.

I’m not part of the first twelve who get called into the box to get questioned. Three get to leave because they have good enough excuses. I’m #3 to get filled back into the twelve. Shit, we’ve already found out this is going to be about a two week trial. I really don’t want to be in court for two weeks.

We all get questioned until noon lunch break by the plaintiff attorney, and things aren’t going well for my chances of getting out. I haven’t really been able to play the crazy card. I don’t want to go too overboard and have the judge call me on it.

I take a walk downtown for lunch and get a bite to eat. I really need to focus after lunch.

The doctor’s lawyer gets to ask us questions after lunch. His first or second question is if any of us have had negative experiences in the healthcare system. My hand shoots up like I’m a giddy second grader who knows how to spell “dismissed”.

I talk about the time Carter broke his leg and how much of a headache the insurance was, and how I felt the care was very systematic, not personal. I use strong, but not vulgar language, like “I despise the healthcare industry”.

Defendant’s lawyer wraps up and the judge and the counsel go into the judges chambers to determine who is going to serve. Moment of truth, did I do a good enough job?

Right off the bat, they dismiss this dude who I didn’t think would get dismissed. Some farmer, I guess farmers are too, or not sympathetic enough in malpractice. Judge calls four peoples name to stand and swears them in. At this point I think I’m screwed. He calls four others and swears them in. Myself and two other women who also talked about negative hospital experiences get moved down to seats 1,2,and 3. They then pull 9 others who’ve been sitting and watching the whole time.

Did I mention it was like 80° in the courtroom since we had this warm snap and they must not have turned of the heat.

Now I have to sit through both attorneys questioning the new 9. I’m starting to sweat like I’m running a foot race. I can’t sit still.

Finally they finish. At this point I feel pretty good they’ll pick four other jurors and two other alternates who aren’t me. I was right. I felt good. I dodged a two week bullet.

I got to go home, and I have to come in tomorrow. They have to fill one more felony trial for the week. Even if I get called into that I should get excused since I look like a criminal.

Lawryde of Death Metal

I’m really into the death metal band All That Remains. Listening to the music you’d think that someone who is pissed off or angry would like it. I’m not feeling either of those things right now, but I’m really digging it. I like how they combine melodic sections in addition to the screaming. Kind of like life, you hope for more melodic sections than screaming sections, but the screaming works sometimes too.

I’ve been selected to participate in the Peoria County jury system next week. I finally get setup for my cold testing and I have to serve fucking jury duty. I haven’t been in the field for like a month.

Lawryde’s steps for getting ejected from jury duty:

#1 Wear short sleeve shirt: Any prosecuting attorney worth a shit will axe me after he takes one look at my girls boobs. Tattoos = flaw in decision making ability.

#2 If asked the question: Do you feel you can fairly evaluate this case, answer NO. The follow up question will invariably be Why? My reason will be that each time I tried to contest a speeding ticket with scientific evidence the prosecuting attorney was a total ass bag with me. He assumed I was less intelligent than he was. He was in the position of power. That really pissed me off. I don’t like, trust, or respect lawyers, particularly prosecuting attorneys, therefore I can’t be fair with the bubbling hatred for the jackasses prosecuting and defending clouding my reason.

We’ll see how it plays out next week.