Dear United States Government

While you are working so hard over the weekend, I would like to propose a rider, or amendment, or whatever the hell it's called (I guess I didn't pay attention in ninth grade government class... sorry Mr. Topp) to the 700 BILLION dollar bailout of all these greedy banks and insurance companies. I would like you to add an extra .00000214% to that and give me like 150,000 dollars.

The money would be spent to pay off the $105,000 remaining on my mortgage which we can pretend is sub-prime and is destroying the economy.

The remaining $45,000 will be used to pay off credit card debt, student loans, and my car loans which we can pretend were predatory in nature and are destroying the economy.

The result will be an extra $2150 I can pump into the economy every month. So in less than 6 years you'll have all that money circulating back into the economy. Won't that be awesome.

Gee you guys and galls are swell.

So I'll just wait for that check, and remember it's Lawryde with a y not an i. We wouldn't want to have any difficulty at the bank would we?