Lawryde Gets Ejected

For the first time in four years of playing, I got ejected from a hockey game. Of all the shit I’ve ever done in games before, this was the most benign thing to get ejected for. I didn’t have bloody knuckles afterwards. I didn’t learn something about myself by being in a fight.

Here’s how it went down. We were playing a team of young kids (16-20 year olds) who had a cheering section of their moms and dads. These were your spoiled hockey kids who think the world owes them something. They’re way too cool for chin straps. They’re also fast as hell.

We weren’t playing well. I wasn’t playing well. Their speed exploited all the faults I have coming up from C-league and only playing 8 B-league games. It was my poor defense that lead to 3 breakaway goals.

Near the end of the second period, my D partner JJ, who played Canadian Juniors when he was 15 and is fucking phenomenal, road this jackass kid with a nice knit jersey with a big captain C on the shoulder into the boards and knocked the puck away from him. It was a clean play. Kid got all pissed off that someone schooled him. He threw his hands up and knocked his own helmet off. (That’s what chin straps are for kids!)

Kid wants to fight JJ. Dumb move against JJ who would have destroyed this kid in a fight. Kid takes two gloved swings at JJ and hits his cage once. Why would you try and swing at a guy with a cage on? At this point I’m pissed at this kid because in our league, to fight is to throw a punch. I take it upon myself to pin this kid up against the board with my right fist against his shoulder. My mistake was that my stick was in that hand as well. It probably looked bad from the back, where the fat stupid ref was. I told him the kid to stay the fuck off JJ and held him there until someone pulled me off him.

Stupid fat ref tells both the kid and JJ to go to the box. Kids dad is shouting about how I should be ejected for pinning his son to the boards, essentially breaking up the fight. Goalie Mike tells the kids dad to shut the fuck up, he’s not on the ice.

Stupid fat ref tells me I’m gone for being the third man. What the fuck? I break a potential blood bath on this kid if JJ is unleashed, and I get ejected? Bullshit. Kid should have been ejected and suspended for throwing two punches. I hate this ref from past experience, but I just leave the ice because it’s not worth it.

Kid’s dad is still talking shit as I walk to the locker room. I tell him to shut the fuck up. He says some bullshit about how my friend would have needed the help. I told him I saved his kid from drinking from a straw for a while and to go fuck himself. He had some bad tattoos and was like 40 or so. As I got closer to him he realized I’m about 6’6” on skates and he started to shut up.

I showered and walked past him again as I left. I gave him a wink and a kiss as I passed, tattoos blaring: Please say something so I can explode on you. He said have a good evening with a shit eating grin. I growled the same back to him.

I went out for some drinks with some of my teammates, and we just laughed about it. It was just a bizarre situation. I guess it’s Karma for all the times I probably should have been ejected playing in C-League.