I Know I Got a Tattoo for a Reason

Jury Duty Day 1

I show up at about 8:40 and get put in the jury holding pen. I’m reading my book about Hunter S. Thompson and the room starts to fill up. After about 30 minutes we all get called into the courtroom for jury selection for a civil trial. It’s a malpractice lawsuit. Doctor Vs. Disgusting man and woman who’ve had bad things happen to them. (Yeah, I’m a fucking dick), but I don’t want to be there. I’d rather be at work running a test.

I’m not part of the first twelve who get called into the box to get questioned. Three get to leave because they have good enough excuses. I’m #3 to get filled back into the twelve. Shit, we’ve already found out this is going to be about a two week trial. I really don’t want to be in court for two weeks.

We all get questioned until noon lunch break by the plaintiff attorney, and things aren’t going well for my chances of getting out. I haven’t really been able to play the crazy card. I don’t want to go too overboard and have the judge call me on it.

I take a walk downtown for lunch and get a bite to eat. I really need to focus after lunch.

The doctor’s lawyer gets to ask us questions after lunch. His first or second question is if any of us have had negative experiences in the healthcare system. My hand shoots up like I’m a giddy second grader who knows how to spell “dismissed”.

I talk about the time Carter broke his leg and how much of a headache the insurance was, and how I felt the care was very systematic, not personal. I use strong, but not vulgar language, like “I despise the healthcare industry”.

Defendant’s lawyer wraps up and the judge and the counsel go into the judges chambers to determine who is going to serve. Moment of truth, did I do a good enough job?

Right off the bat, they dismiss this dude who I didn’t think would get dismissed. Some farmer, I guess farmers are too, or not sympathetic enough in malpractice. Judge calls four peoples name to stand and swears them in. At this point I think I’m screwed. He calls four others and swears them in. Myself and two other women who also talked about negative hospital experiences get moved down to seats 1,2,and 3. They then pull 9 others who’ve been sitting and watching the whole time.

Did I mention it was like 80° in the courtroom since we had this warm snap and they must not have turned of the heat.

Now I have to sit through both attorneys questioning the new 9. I’m starting to sweat like I’m running a foot race. I can’t sit still.

Finally they finish. At this point I feel pretty good they’ll pick four other jurors and two other alternates who aren’t me. I was right. I felt good. I dodged a two week bullet.

I got to go home, and I have to come in tomorrow. They have to fill one more felony trial for the week. Even if I get called into that I should get excused since I look like a criminal.