Gonzo Engineering Returns

I’ve been a busy little monkey lately so I haven’t had time to put up any new posts. I’m sure you’ve all passed the time fine looking at my adorable little worm baby Carter.

Early last week I was on a business trip to exotic Minnesota and Iowa. It kind of sucked because we had to drive, but I did get to eat a lot of free food and drink a lot of free beer from a supplier.

Summer hockey league has also started. My ass was a wad of cookie dough after the first practice. I’m only 25 years old, but after sitting on my duff for two months, I’ve gotten completely out of shape.

Two dudes in my design section are leaving so I get to become a more well rounded Gonzo Engineer by learning how to design cooling systems (Radiators, Air to Air Aftercoolers, powertrain oil coolers, etc . I don’t really want to learn a bunch of new shit, but it will make it easier to get out of this hellhole of a town if I have more experience with a wide range of design.

“Heroin had robbed Renton of his sex drive, but now it returned with a vengeance. And as the impotence of those days faded into memory, grim desperation took hold of his sex-crazed mind. His post-junk libido, fuelled by alcohol and amphetamine, taunted him remorselessly with his own unsatisfied desire.”

I kind of feel the same way, but from Bupropion.

I stopped taking it.

I don’t know why.

I got the flu or something a few weeks ago and was taking it intermittently and then ran out and never bothered to refill the prescription. It must be almost all out of my system now; cause all I can think about is fucking. Antidepressants tend to lower your sex drive.

The fear feels closer now, but I feel much more alive. I knew the Bupropion would dull me, I don’t care what Dr. Colen says. I’ve come to the conclusion that drugs aren’t going to help me deal with my fear of death. I question if therapy really will either. Looking at Carter develop and grow is better than almost anything else I’ve tried. His existence minimizes the importance of my death to me. I don’t know…

I’m the father of an adorable little worm baby

It’s amazing how flawed and pointless everything else in your life can seem when you're looking at the most perfect thing you could possibly create.



He’s touching his bird while he’s sleeping. Awwwwwww

You can’t escape who you are in the end

Here’s my one political post out of 50

For those of us who actually thought for ourselves in the last two presidential elections, we all knew that the Chimp in Chief would eventually crash and burn with his ludicrous ideas and back scratching of all his buddies. Big GW is at an approval rating of 29%. He’s within striking distance of Tricky Dick’s all time low of 24%.

All of you die hard proponents of moral values and integrity who still think GWB is a good president, I’d like to ask you how deep is the hole that your head is buried in. He’s a fucking joke. He’s a moron. He’s the worst leader ever.

“But you’re a commie liberal tattooed asshole lawryde. You hate all Republicans and Conservatives”

For the most part, that’s true. It’s because most of them are hypocritical assholes. I do like John McCain though. He’s a Conservative, but he’s not an idiot. He can form thoughts and sentences on his own and is driven by logic and reason, not faith and stupid.

Anyway, here’s something funny

APPROVAL RATINGS OF VARIOUS THINGS

31% Third-World Dictators
Salami Breath
The "Lost another loan to Ditech" Guy

30% Omarosa
Telemarketers
Public Bathrooms

29% Camilla Parker Bowles
George W. Bush
Hangnails

28% Spam Email
The Duke University Men's Lacrosse Team
Jar-Jar Binks

27% Hurricane Katrina
Ebola
Websites with sound

What a fucking Tool I’ve become

I was rereading my last post, and I realized what a corporate bitch I’ve become. This became even clearer in my mind when I read the most recent blog post of my old college roommate JJ and looked at his pictures. He’s still living the college rock‘n’roll lifestyle, and I’m a big fucking sellout.

It has its benefits I guess. I make 3-6 times as much money as he does, and have outstanding health insurance. I own a house and two cars, and have the start of nice little retirement nest egg.

I was sitting at lunch today and eating with some of the guys in my section, and I realized how little I have in common with them, and how boring our conversations are.

I’m fucking sick and tired of hearing about golfing, and weather, and local issues, and houses, and carriers, and the boring shit we all did on the weekend, and all that other meaningless crap.

I’ve worked with better crews at the meat department and while being a janitor at a hospital.

There are so very few real people here, and I’m as phony as the rest of them.

I give up who I am to make a dime.
I’m just another one of big JO’s bitches.

Fucking cable companies

I’ve been a bit lax again about posting, partially because I’ve been without the Internet all last weekend and it’s still not working right. I pay the godless bastards at the cable company $40 a month for high speed pornography downloading, and I expect it to work seamlessly.

We took my dog Skitch to the vet, and $260 (including all his yearly immunizations) later they think he has a slipped disk or something like that in his back. They gave him some muscle relaxants. He’s still not in really good shape. He’s really careful and slow going down stairs, and looks really sad and pathetic and in pain. Hopefully he’ll get better. If he doesn’t, and would require some sort of surgery, I think we’d have to put him down. He’s just too old to invest any sort of large amount of money in.

Apparently my son is the most wonderful, beautiful baby ever in the history of the world.



Every time we take him out in public at least one random stranger will comment on how cute, or adorable, or wonderful, or beautiful, or some other compliment. I do realize there are a lot of ugly people in Peoria, but it still kind of weirds me out when random guy at Lowe’s comes over and tells me how cute a baby I have and how blessed I am while I’m looking at gutters.

I’ve found that Sam’s club is a dangerous place for me to be at on the weekend. As many of you who read this blog know, I have “excessive” tattooing on my upper torso that spills out from short sleeve shirts. I’m also a Mechanical Engineer for the 2006 Fortune 55 Company, and “excessive” tattooing is prohibited from being shown. I have no problem with this, I’ll cover my ink up, but I think there are people within my organization that would take umbrage with my tattoos even if I cover them while I’m at work.

Anyway, I digress, I needed some bulk granola bars and pre-cooked bacon so I went to Sam’s club since it’s cheap there. I normally don’t like going to any Wal-Mart affiliated store on the weekend to avoid the mouth-breathing masses, but I really needed that bacon.

While I was strolling the massive warehouse aisles, I saw a dude at work I kind of knew, and I knew he knew me. It was a nice day, so I was wearing a T-shirt, and my naked ladies were getting some sun. He was one of those people who I thought might not like that fact, so I ducked down the nearest aisle. Luckily he didn’t spot me, and I continued on my quest for precooked pig.

I managed to get all checked out and into the parking lot, when I spotted in the distance my bosses, bosses colleague who is in charge of the tractor I do design work for. I haven’t really interacted with her much, but I think she would also not like the fact that my girl’s boobs were getting a tan. I didn’t have much of an option in this situation. I could have pushed my cart towards her hoping to knock her down and escape in the ensuing mayhem, or I could again duck into the next row of cars. I chose plan B, and most likely for the best. I don’t know if she saw me, and if she did, maybe she didn’t make the connection. I am a relatively low man in the grand scheme of things.

In the end we're all dead me... dogs.

I think my dog Skitch is dying. Since two nights ago, he hasn’t been his normal chipper self. He shakes more than normal, and he’s very cautious about going up or down stairs on his hind legs. I’m hoping he just pulled a muscle in his back or something. He’s pretty old, at least 12. We adopted him about 2 years ago. He’s deaf and has a heart condition he takes med’s for. He really is the best dog in the world though.

I haven’t been paying as much attention to him due to the baby being around. Yesterday and today I’ve tried to pay more attention to him and carry him up and down the stairs. I really don’t want him to die. I’m just not ready. The odds of finding another dog as cool as he is wouldn’t be an easy task. If he does die, at least Carter isn’t old enough to have gotten attached to him. We’ll be sad enough when he goes let alone having a small child upset about it.