I’ll take Potpourri Tuesday for $1000 Alex… wait… that doesn’t rhyme.

Don’t use your real name for shit online. It’s ok to use just your first name or whatever, but certainly don’t have your full name associated with whatever sick, twisted, bizarre employment debilitating shit that you’re into. That is why I go by Lawryde online. If potential employer X types A***** L***** into Google they come up with some dudes garden photography and plant portraits, not my heavily tattooed back and my ramblings on how much I hate working in the corporate world.

I’m obsessed with the Muse CD Absolution. It’s so good. I listen to it on the way to work, at work, and on the way home from work.

I’ve been in a really bad, depressed mood the past week or so. I think it’s because I delayed getting my tattoo until this Friday. My wife thinks that means I have an addictive personality. I really, really feel like I need to bleed. That’s not a sign of addiction… is it? Maybe that sounded worse than it actually is. I need to feel the sunburned feeling after getting tattooed and being washed over with endorphins.

In addition to feeling depressed, I feel very physically strong right now. In the past, High School and College, I couldn’t gain any muscle mass. Not that I really tried very hard. Playing video games doesn’t exactly build your pecks. Now that I’m playing hockey on a regular basis and doing push-ups and sit-ups, I’m actually gaining bulk in my arms and chest. This new found feeling of strength really makes me want to fist fight someone. On the top of my list of people I would like to fist fight are the paper-man(he’s not a boy) who delivers the shitty free local Peoria paper (God I hate that fucking paper), the douche bag who was in front of me on the interstate in the left lane chatting away on his cell phone this morning, and Sean Hannity. I should maintain this list and add to it so I don’t forget; much like the people I could be unfaithful to my wife with if I had the opportunity without repercussions. (She has a similar list).



The end is all I can see, and it scares the hell out of me.

That’s how I feel sometimes. Only able to see the end.

March Madness!

This last weekend in March, a very special event in sport will play out that I think we all know and think will be amazing. It will pit man against man in a winner take all extravaganza.

That’s right everyone, it’s time for the Championship game in The Peoria C Division AHL (Adult Hockey League)!!

This year it will be the Black team from the winner’s bracket of the double elimination tournament vs. my team, the Orange team, coming back after losing their first game to black and then winning the loser’s bracket.

We’ll need to win both games in a double header against black to take the Division Title. Black isn’t a strong team. The only reason they beat us in the first game was because they had a substitute goalie that wasn’t even registered with the league. We’re out for revenge now. We’ve got the better team, and the deeper bench to win the consecutive games.

Unfortunately the games are on Saturday so I won’t be getting my “Battle in the Deep” tattoo of the sperm whale fighting the squid. That’s going to have to wait until Friday the 13th of April now. Kalib has got himself a nice following of customers now, which unfortunately makes it difficult to find time for an appointment.

Patent Pending

I’ve been busting ass at work lately. We’ve got 4 days left until our designs have to be done for our next build.

Last night I was so exhausted that I went to bed with Carter at 8:00 and didn’t get up until he got up at 6:30. It felt good.

It looks like my hard work is going to pay off with getting my name on a patent for something I helped design for this machine. It’s pretty cool, even though any jackass with some money can patent whatever whacked out idea they want. I’ll get $100 from Opposite of Dog and a cool plaque. I can also walk around and say I hold a patent for my designs.

I went to talk to my tattoo artist Kalib today to set up an appointment to get my “Battle Under the Sea” tattoo of a sperm whale fighting a giant squid. It’s going to be tits, and painful. The last part of my left arm that is large enough for a big piece is my inner bicep. I don’t think it’s going to be kittens and puppies when I get it done. My left arm sleeve will almost be done then. All I’ll need to do is fill in the spaces with small stuff. Small stuff being the size stuff most people get for their first tattoo. I’ll be getting the work done on the 31st, and you’ll be the first ones to see pictures.

The Quick and the Dreaming

Last night I dreamt I was back in Wisconsin Rapids and for some reason I had to kill someone old west gunslinger style at the elementary school I went to, in the rain. Don’t know who the person was, couldn’t see his face. The detail in the dream of the preparation I did for the gunfight was strange. The grabbing of the holster, the placing of each bullet in the gun, the placement of the holster and gun. The actual gunfight itself played out in Matrix style slow motion. I kept thinking I should be feeling like I was being shot, and that the guy should be dying as I shot him, but neither was happening in the dream.

We lost our hockey game on Saturday; we picked a bad time to start sucking. The playoffs start at the end of the month. I almost had a Gordy Howe hat trick. I got the goal, and the penalty(some say a fight for the Gordy Howe hat trick but a penalty is just as good in our league), no assist though.

I also got to spend a good portion of the weekend talking to “Jon” in India for tech support on my wireless router. (God I hate wireless). Anyway, most people get all cheesed off having to talk to people in India for basically anything you call large companies for these days. I don’t have this problem. Opposite of Dog has also gone around the globe to get Indian engineers. I’m used to interacting with Indian dudes who usually have considerably worse fluency in English than the people you have to deal with on tech support hotlines. “Jon” helped me out and got my network working swimmingly. Personally I’d rather just call him by his real name, whether it be Senthilkumar, Vivek, Nimalan, or whatever.

Now a little Hysteria for you...

Another video from Lawryde

Lawryde gets lazy about writing

We were snowed in most of the weekend after that huge ass storm dumped 10 inches on Peoria, officially 8.1, but we got more like 10 with 3 ft drifts in some spots in our driveway. I spend most of Friday digging out. We finally got plowed at Saturday just before midnight. I could have wrote all this cool stuff about, but I was feeling lazy and my wife captured this video of me talking about that laziness.