They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.

When an objective third party who knows a lot about marriage tells you that you have a pretty good marriage, it makes you feel good.

50% of all marriages end in divorce

In 45% of all marriages one or both partners are miserable.

4% of all marriages are still in the honeymoon phase.

In 1% of all marriages both partners are happy and satisfied.

It’s a beautiful, sacred institution though isn’t it?

I miss sleeping next to my Carter on a regular basis. We bought him a twin bed, and last night I fell asleep with him until midnight. It made me miss the times he would nuzzle up and sleep with us all night.

My fictitious summit bid of Mount Everest has begun. Lapsang and I arrived in Nepal and have begun amassing supplies to burden down a yak for our trip to our base camp. The yak objected to my insistence on bringing a satellite, 42” television, and generator, but I’ve got to watch my stories. Lapsang agreed.

45 or 6 to 11

I’ve made the decision to fictitiously summit Mount Everest. I’ve been so inspired by the TV show Everest: Beyond the Limit, that I plan to, with the expertise of my fake Sherpa guide Lapsang, summit the tallest mountain on the planet.

In fact, I will be the first man in history to fictitiously summit Everest with a fictitious guide during the wintertime.

It won’t be easy. I’ll need to spend half’s of hours typing about my exploits, and perhaps HOURS of time photoshoping a picture of myself with my fake guide on the summit of Everest.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I proceed to come up with comical stories about my fake journey, and search the internet for a suitable picture to photoshop myself into.

When I do finally achieve my burning goal I’ve had since last night, and I reach as close to the heavens as any person possibly can without $500 and the desire to deal with Thanksgiving travel time in an airport, I will paraphrase the great Yuri Gagarin and I will cry out: “Lapsang, I’m looking, but I don’t see any God up here”

Then, in true Buddhist fashion he will turn to me and say: "Lawryde, Don't mistake the finger pointing at the moon for the moon."

Then we'll look at each other and laugh oxygen depleted laughs.

Wish me luck.