45 or 6 to 11

I’ve made the decision to fictitiously summit Mount Everest. I’ve been so inspired by the TV show Everest: Beyond the Limit, that I plan to, with the expertise of my fake Sherpa guide Lapsang, summit the tallest mountain on the planet.

In fact, I will be the first man in history to fictitiously summit Everest with a fictitious guide during the wintertime.

It won’t be easy. I’ll need to spend half’s of hours typing about my exploits, and perhaps HOURS of time photoshoping a picture of myself with my fake guide on the summit of Everest.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I proceed to come up with comical stories about my fake journey, and search the internet for a suitable picture to photoshop myself into.

When I do finally achieve my burning goal I’ve had since last night, and I reach as close to the heavens as any person possibly can without $500 and the desire to deal with Thanksgiving travel time in an airport, I will paraphrase the great Yuri Gagarin and I will cry out: “Lapsang, I’m looking, but I don’t see any God up here”

Then, in true Buddhist fashion he will turn to me and say: "Lawryde, Don't mistake the finger pointing at the moon for the moon."

Then we'll look at each other and laugh oxygen depleted laughs.

Wish me luck.