I've Got Special Unique Specialness.

I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why?"

Why did I cause so much pain?

Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness?

Can't I see that we're all manifestations of love?

I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong.

We are not special.
We are not crap or trash either. We just are.
We just are, and what happens just happens.

And God says, "No, that's not right."

Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything.

I long for a phone call from any company in the Milwaukee or Madison area I've applied to. I'm a really good engineer. I swear it. Don't take all the negative things I say here seriously. It's just where I come to blow of some condensed water vapor. (See I didn't even call it steam. Steam isn't visible. I'm super smart.)

I have no desire to start working on another machine at work. I like (or in some cases can put up with) my D6 guys and don't want to deal with other people's quirks and expectations.

My lusted after shin guards are somewhere between here and St. Louis right now. They will be in my hot little hands by tomorrow, in time for rat hockey on Thursday, and I even already got my Federal tax return so they are paid for too. Not that I dropped all that money just on shin guards, I just allotted some for fun stuff, not just fixing and paying off stuff.

What are you doing, Ness? You just gonna do your taxes right now? Is that hot? Is that what's going down in the streets?

Got about 95% done with my taxes in the past few days. Found out I was getting more back than I thought.

I think we'll pay off the remainder of my student loans, fix some stuff, buy some more things for the basement to finish it off, and I'll either get the warrior shin guards I've been lusting after or some more tattooing.

My hockey team has moved into 5th place. If we can manage to win the next two games I think we could jump up to 3rd, not to bad for a team that only has one A-league player and several BC level players.

Last week we won, but I didn' t play particularly well. I pulled out some old Lawryde play and got into some shit with some guy on the other team.

There was about 30 seconds left at the end of the game and they were down by two goals. Their best player takes the puck down the left side and he comes into our zone and I take away the outside with my body forcing him to pass it into the middle of the ice to one of our players.

He didn't like it for whatever reason and said some bullshit to me about watch out or something. I, of course, tell him to go fuck himself. (I'm not very nice on the ice.)

As I skate away he decides to slash the back of my legs. I don't take kindly to this and skate up to him getting well into his personal space and ask him if he'd like to fight. He's a little less confident with someone 4-5 inches taller than him staring down at him and smelling if I needed a breath mint or not. He doesn't say anything so I turn away again. Again he gets his stick inbetween my legs trying to trip me.

I've had enough and skate into him, my full cage hitting his half visor. He thinks I head butted him because my cage hit his visor. The game ends and I skate away. He doesn't shake my hand after the game, even though I offer it.

As I'm skating off he asks me why I head butted him. "It's just men's league," he says. I shake my head and tell him whatever and hit the showers.

I'm not the smartest dude in the world, but I knew enough when I wasn't wearing a full cage to not start shit with someone wearing one. I had nothing to lose, I was fully protected, my team was winning, and I was taking one of their best players out of the end of the game. He had his teeth, jaw, and the game to loose.

It was good fun, it brought me back to fun times in C-League.