Waves of Emotion
So that tingling feeling of something going to happen, happened, as it were.
My boss instant messages me and tells me he set up a one on one with me the next day early in the morning and wants to make sure I can make it.
My brain immediately recoils in horror thinking that I’ve been caught using the interweb too much, or that fact that I’m at work for exactly 8 hours a day now, not a minute more.
I try to feel out the situation so I don’t spend the evening throwing up in anticipation.
I message back, sure no problem. Do I need to have some yearly goals put together to discuss or something like that?
He messages back, Well, I wanted to tell you in person… Oh shit … that your promotion went through.
Cooling calm and joy fill my heart. All my finishing reports on time has paid off. I tell him that’s awesome and thank him for working it on his end.
So I get 5%, and now I’m a Senior Gonzo Engineer. Maybe the Gonzo won’t be listed, but we all know the truth. I guess the grays in my beard are deserved now. It will look nice on a resume too, puts me in a different category and bargaining position.
This morning the kids don’t wake up at some point from 5-7. Seriously, the day I need to get in by 7:30 and they don’t make a sound. On top of that we find out my wife’s friend’s mom died this morning. I’m full of panic, self worth, and sadness. I need to get to this meeting so I get out the door buy 7:08. Luckily Peoria did a halfway decent job clearing the streets after 3 inches of snow.
I tear up a bit as I climb the hill to work. It’s a combination of relief of getting this promotion they’ve dangled in front of me for so long, and the loss my wife’s friend has to deal with. I remember her wedding and talking to her mom, this kind, lovely, gracious woman, nevermore. I try to pull my shit together and navigate the country road without killing myself.
I make it to work 5 minutes late, no big deal, everyone is 5 minutes late to every meeting they go to.
I sit down after the meeting, which is really nothing groundbreaking after finding out the high point the day before, and I am able to breath and let my head stop swimming.
My boss instant messages me and tells me he set up a one on one with me the next day early in the morning and wants to make sure I can make it.
My brain immediately recoils in horror thinking that I’ve been caught using the interweb too much, or that fact that I’m at work for exactly 8 hours a day now, not a minute more.
I try to feel out the situation so I don’t spend the evening throwing up in anticipation.
I message back, sure no problem. Do I need to have some yearly goals put together to discuss or something like that?
He messages back, Well, I wanted to tell you in person… Oh shit … that your promotion went through.
Cooling calm and joy fill my heart. All my finishing reports on time has paid off. I tell him that’s awesome and thank him for working it on his end.
So I get 5%, and now I’m a Senior Gonzo Engineer. Maybe the Gonzo won’t be listed, but we all know the truth. I guess the grays in my beard are deserved now. It will look nice on a resume too, puts me in a different category and bargaining position.
This morning the kids don’t wake up at some point from 5-7. Seriously, the day I need to get in by 7:30 and they don’t make a sound. On top of that we find out my wife’s friend’s mom died this morning. I’m full of panic, self worth, and sadness. I need to get to this meeting so I get out the door buy 7:08. Luckily Peoria did a halfway decent job clearing the streets after 3 inches of snow.
I tear up a bit as I climb the hill to work. It’s a combination of relief of getting this promotion they’ve dangled in front of me for so long, and the loss my wife’s friend has to deal with. I remember her wedding and talking to her mom, this kind, lovely, gracious woman, nevermore. I try to pull my shit together and navigate the country road without killing myself.
I make it to work 5 minutes late, no big deal, everyone is 5 minutes late to every meeting they go to.
I sit down after the meeting, which is really nothing groundbreaking after finding out the high point the day before, and I am able to breath and let my head stop swimming.
Labels: Duality of Man, Experience, Fear, How to Make More Money, Peoria, Snow, Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, Tragedy
posted by lawryde at
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