On Death and Dying

I have a friend who's Mom is dying. Cancer. Not the funny kind, the kind that kills you.

It sucks. I'm so wrapped in my own mortality that when someone else is dealing with death I have a hard time pushing it out of my mind.

I've had these mini-rapid fire fear of death episodes in the past few weeks. Not the typical long philosophical wanders of my mind that eventually lead to me realizing I will die and then panicking for several minutes. More of all that compressed into like 10 seconds. It's nice in that it passes quickly, it sucks in that it's unexpected.

And then I read this story today about this woman who stabbed her two infant/toddler sons to death and it makes me doubt the existence of any higher power or thing after death.

There's still the possibility time is just a loop for us, but that still doesn't make me feel any better for those little boys, or my friends dying Mom.

There is no Why.

My homage to Nihilism tattoo sounds better and better to me. The concept is 9X4=38 in block lettering and then all my favorite quotes that tend to be dark and Nihilistic in the style of a schizophrenic's journal written inside the numbers. Kind of like Homer's writing of No TV and no beer make homer go crazy all over the walls in that Simpson's episode.