Team Lawryde

I’ve had a few tussles with United Healthcare (They process all of Opposite of Dog’s insurance and flexible spending claims) over coverage and payment of health services.

The most in depth of these being their refusal to pay for a second x-ray of my son’s leg when he broke it a while back.

I ended up beating the assholes after 13 months of battling them over $67.50. The resources and man-hours consumed to pay a $67.50 claim, just because they thought the x-ray people or myself were trying to screw them, is astronomical. It’s got to be in the tens of thousands of dollars.

That, my friends, is what is wrong with the healthcare system in the United States. There are levels upon levels of bureaucracy where everyone is making a buck shuffling papers around.

So I had another issue of them not paying a flexible spending account claim on something they should have.

I give them a call and go through all the bullshit menus of dialing 1, entering my subscriber number, dialing 3, entering my date of birth, dialing zero, and then I get to actually talk to someone.

He again verifies the information I just dialed into the fucking system, and then says, “Oh, it looks like there is a team assigned to your account. I’ll need to get them on the line before we talk about anything.”

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at him. “Alright,” I say.

I was on hold for like 10 minutes, but I guess Team Lawryde was out on a coffee brake so this dude had to help me. We got the shit straightened out, it was their fucking error, again.

I would be happy as a clam, to simply pay extra money in taxes and never, ever, have to look at bills, or statements of benefits, or be on the phone disputing mishandled claims.

Gladly.