For the Very First Time

As Opposite of Dog stock keeps dropping, it’s at 24.77 right now (from a high of like 90), I went to my local tattoo shop to discuss how I could stimulate the local economy. Apparently the tattoo industry is recession proof. When I went in, one guy was getting tattooed, one guy was getting done with a consultation, I was up next for a consult, and a couple came in after me to get a consultation. The first appointment time they had was the first week in March, that was one week ago.

I just went in to get Kalib working on drawing the chest piece idea I have. Yes, I need to get my left arm wrapped up, but I have the strong desire to get a chest piece. Chest pieces are bad ass. My wife’s is fucking awesome, it always looks awesome peaking out from shirts that are cut low enough to see it. I also love looking at old pictures of dudes with ink. They’ve got their shirts off with dress pants and sharp ass shoes (There was a time when everyone whore a suit to the grocery store), and they’ve got these sweet chest pieces of eagles or ships or ladies.

Getting this piece plays into one of my several fall back positions, should I get laid off. This fallback is being an extra in prison / crime movies / television dramas.

My idea is the following. The whole piece will be old school in style. Coffin in the center of my chest with an hourglass in it, DaVinci style wing framework sprouting off the coffin with bits of feathers on them, random candles on the wings, dead roses around the coffin, and the banner phrase: Death is the Debt that All Men Must Pay. And yes you can go fuck yourself I did get that from National Treasure 2, that doesn’t make the words any less powerful or thematically correct for the piece. I also like it because it’s sexist in wording, and I’m a big sexist pig. Hopefully I’ll get the first session done some time in March. I’m guessing 3 sessions to complete it. It should cover the span of my down to just below my pecks.

I took the oldest boy skating for the very first time ever.




Hopefully his first experience wasn’t like mine, which turned me off to skating until I was in High School. He said he enjoyed it, so we’ll go more and see if he can progress at all. I got him some pads so he can just go and fall and try to find his balance.

I got a misguided compliment from the biggest jackass on our hockey team last game. We lost like 6-1, but I scored the only goal. I feel like I’m understanding where I should be now, and I’m just trying to skate as hard as possible for 2 minutes at a time. Midway through the game the dude says to me, “You’re going to score a hell-of-a-lot more goals if you skate like you are tonight. You’re busting your ass out there.”

Um, thanks, I think. I felt like a kid being lectured by his overbearing dad. I think I’m a couple years older than this dude too. It made me feel good, even though I didn’t want it to. I shouldn’t need the validation of jerk-offs like him.

I turn 28 on Thursday. Pretty meaningless. Just closer to being 30.

Narrator: [Tyler steers the car into the opposite lane and accelerates] What are you doing?

Tyler Durden: Guys, what would you wish you'd done before you died?

Man 1: Paint a self-portrait.

Man 2: Build a house.

Tyler Durden: [to Narrator] And you?

Narrator: I don't know. Turn the wheel now, come on!

Tyler Durden: You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?

Narrator: I don't know, I wouldn't feel anything good about my life, is that what you want to hear me say? Fine. Come on!

Tyler Durden: Not good enough.

I was talking to one of my coworkers (single and childless), and he said he hoped to be a millionaire by his mid-thirties. I just chuckled. He said he was investing around 2/3 of his salary. I just laughed again.

Everyone has their priorities.