A Counter Argument

My brilliant, amazing, lovely, generous, gracious wife wanted to say something.

There have now been several posts and discussions here that fall into the realm of feminism, child rearing and biological versus societal influences and I've been wanting to weigh in since Lawryde's high school friends started bashing him and the viewpoint he represented (which was researched with me, who holds a BA in child development and has many years of experience with children, but that's neither here nor there).

I've recently started viewing feminism in two lights. The first is the traditional, stereotypical idea of the word. The woman out to prove her merits in a man's world. A woman who will not be bound by the gender constraints of a static society, who isn't tied down by children, who does not fall into the mold of the merry, happy, housewife who spends her days cooking and cleaning to please her man. The second view is sort of the antithesis of the first view. It's that of the earth mother goddess. The woman who is in tune with what the natural world intends for her to do. She bears children and nurtures them through close bonds, time together, breastfeeding and all that jazz.

What I've been seeing reflected in the comments and posts by this group of women really saddens me. It seems like they're turning their backs on the power that being a woman and partaking in those traditional actions gives them. Becoming pregnant and sustaining a life in your own body is some serious power. Hunkering down and connecting with those primal instincts during birth, spending that time communing with yourself and birthing a child without medication the way nature intended is an eye opening, confidence building, view altering experience. I have never felt as powerful and amazing as I did after giving birth to Carter and Oz. I had done something that no man could ever do, something that connected me with women for all of history, all over the world. And spending those two years nursing Carter and sustaining his life, on the outside this time, exclusively for the first six months and then primarily for the next year, how could anything be more important and powerful than that?

It seems like there are a lot of angry feminists out there who are looking down on these activities. Who are failing to see the merit in them and to realize the power they have in this world because of their ability to do these things. There seems to be a need to prove that women aren't driven to care for their children, that they were out doing the same things men were through all of history and that's really selling women short. I truly don't believe that they were out hunting in the same way men were. They were at home, caring for children, birthing them, feeding them, caring for the house and to deny that denies part of our power as women. Do I think that women never went out and fought for food? No, I'm sure that they did. I'm sure communal breastfeeding happened so that women could go out and hunt and gather. But do I think women went out on week and month long hunting trips to get big game? No. There are so many reasons why they would have had a need to stay close to home. By insisting that they did the same things men did just demeans the things women have traditionally done.

Now I don't think that every woman should quit her job, kick off her shoes and get pregnant. But I do think that woman should stop trying to deny the biological tendencies towards caring for offspring that we have. As women we've been given the most important task of perpetuating our species. We should be honoring it, not pushing it to the side.

I would love more than anything to have my two views of feminism come together.
I would love for anyone who considers themselves a feminist to see the merit in both sides and in all the ways women can empower themselves. Until then though, I'll just be sad for all those women who are missing out on the greatest things they could ever know.

Comments are open and free, or did that just blow your fucking mind?