The Birth
I’m back at work today after much apprehension and nerves last night. I really need to become independently wealthy somehow. Turns out my machine didn’t get finished being rebuilt until Thursday of last week so I would have been sitting around bored off my ass if I hadn’t been home. Stuff was ready to go this morning so I got to get out in the dirt right away after I deleted all the stupid email that had piled up.
I wanted to write my recollection of Oz’s birth earlier, but other things got in the way. Hopefully I can recall as many of the important things as possible.
My wife’s water broke at about 4 am on Sunday April 27. We were both kind of in shock and disbelief about the whole thing due to Carter being born so late. Nothing started to happen. Our certified nurse homebirth midwife came by that evening and we tried using a breast pump to stimulate contractions. Nothing really got going. Typically you have 24 to 36 hours after the water breaks before you need to start having the baby come out due to the risk of infection.
The next day the midwife went to visit some other patients in the area, and we continued to kind of wait to see if things would start spontaneously. My wife got a massage to try and get in a proper mental state, a chiropractic adjustment which just like all Chiropractic practices is some sort of voodoo and was supposed to help start her labor, some acupuncture which the acupuncturist said would start labor, drank a castor oil, chocolate ice cream, and peanut butter shake, and gave herself an orgasm in hopes of starting labor.
After all these things it was about 4 pm. The midwife had returned with her midwife-in-training, and I had dropped Carter off at a friend’s house. This baby had to come one way or another. She started the breast pump again, and the contractions started to be more consistent. Things were starting to get rolling. I made a pizza because I was hungry and didn’t know how long all of this was going to last. I also got the birth pool setup. (a large kiddy pool) We had this cool fish cleaning kid thing to fill it from the sink. Our kitchen sink had some stupid thread on the aerator though: 55/64-27. Seriously, What the fuck is that. 1/64 less than 7/8, come on! Stupid Delta faucet engineers. I had just found a series of adapters to get this fill device working the day before.
She started active labor around 8 at night. She wasn’t ready for the water as of yet, but our water heater was having trouble keeping up. I bounced back and forth between her, and trying to get the water at a decent temperature before second stage came.
I’m not sure exactly what time we called the Doula and she showed up, but it was close to when second stage (pushing) started. I filled the last bit of hot water I could in the pool prior to my wife getting in.
Second stage was pretty fast. My wife was sitting in the pool, I was behind her on dry land rubbing her head and shoulders. In between contractions my eyes would focus on the happy cartoon fish on the pool. I knew what tattoo I was going to get for Oz.
Right before Oz was born, my wife decided to lean over the side of the pool. The midwife-in-training said something like I see his head, and then bam, the next push he was completely out. Just like with Carter, Oz’s birth ended in a screaming crescendo by my wife. She’s incredible though, no drugs.
I had one of those overjoyed moments after seeing he was out and everything seemed Ok. It maybe wasn't the finding God moment I had heard people talk about and was thinking maybe I'd have this second birth, but it was about the best I can ever remember feeling.
As I cut the cord I remember seeing a drop of blood fall slow motion on to a grout line on our one month old tile floor. I thought to myself "Oh, dude, not my 14 hour floor that destroyed my hands." The midwife had a sweet trick to get the blood off the grout though with peroxide so no harm done. I held Oz while the placenta was born. He took to nursing after he got back to his mom like a kid out in the rain. (Turns out he was a good faker, but that's another story.)
The midwife checked him out, filled out some forms and weighed him as we kind of cleaned stuff up as my wife showered and I drained the pool with the super cool venturi fish-cleaning thing. I think we used enough water to grow crops for a small African nation that night.
We called people, did some posts online, took some pictures, and got to sleep in our own bed. The poor midwife had another woman go into labor that early morning and had to rush off. I felt bad for her. I was tired.
The home birth was pretty nice. Nothing went wrong. No weird interns looking at your wife’s business. I think it will end up costing about 1/3 to 1/2 of what a hospital birth would have.
Oz is a bid jaundiced, but overall he and my wife are doing well.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfsXSDo5WD1TY1W0VXLvZg7IGPq4HBuJzGC_l2dM5350Oh4NlNwKfPr0JCNSgvDUqF4xVNRHGp6viSzlF_5t1UT4dH83d6CfA5k2rnqwF4aPkC22EvoJ3_srscjqyRncUXBjBX/s400/oz.jpg)
I wanted to write my recollection of Oz’s birth earlier, but other things got in the way. Hopefully I can recall as many of the important things as possible.
My wife’s water broke at about 4 am on Sunday April 27. We were both kind of in shock and disbelief about the whole thing due to Carter being born so late. Nothing started to happen. Our certified nurse homebirth midwife came by that evening and we tried using a breast pump to stimulate contractions. Nothing really got going. Typically you have 24 to 36 hours after the water breaks before you need to start having the baby come out due to the risk of infection.
The next day the midwife went to visit some other patients in the area, and we continued to kind of wait to see if things would start spontaneously. My wife got a massage to try and get in a proper mental state, a chiropractic adjustment which just like all Chiropractic practices is some sort of voodoo and was supposed to help start her labor, some acupuncture which the acupuncturist said would start labor, drank a castor oil, chocolate ice cream, and peanut butter shake, and gave herself an orgasm in hopes of starting labor.
After all these things it was about 4 pm. The midwife had returned with her midwife-in-training, and I had dropped Carter off at a friend’s house. This baby had to come one way or another. She started the breast pump again, and the contractions started to be more consistent. Things were starting to get rolling. I made a pizza because I was hungry and didn’t know how long all of this was going to last. I also got the birth pool setup. (a large kiddy pool) We had this cool fish cleaning kid thing to fill it from the sink. Our kitchen sink had some stupid thread on the aerator though: 55/64-27. Seriously, What the fuck is that. 1/64 less than 7/8, come on! Stupid Delta faucet engineers. I had just found a series of adapters to get this fill device working the day before.
She started active labor around 8 at night. She wasn’t ready for the water as of yet, but our water heater was having trouble keeping up. I bounced back and forth between her, and trying to get the water at a decent temperature before second stage came.
I’m not sure exactly what time we called the Doula and she showed up, but it was close to when second stage (pushing) started. I filled the last bit of hot water I could in the pool prior to my wife getting in.
Second stage was pretty fast. My wife was sitting in the pool, I was behind her on dry land rubbing her head and shoulders. In between contractions my eyes would focus on the happy cartoon fish on the pool. I knew what tattoo I was going to get for Oz.
Right before Oz was born, my wife decided to lean over the side of the pool. The midwife-in-training said something like I see his head, and then bam, the next push he was completely out. Just like with Carter, Oz’s birth ended in a screaming crescendo by my wife. She’s incredible though, no drugs.
I had one of those overjoyed moments after seeing he was out and everything seemed Ok. It maybe wasn't the finding God moment I had heard people talk about and was thinking maybe I'd have this second birth, but it was about the best I can ever remember feeling.
As I cut the cord I remember seeing a drop of blood fall slow motion on to a grout line on our one month old tile floor. I thought to myself "Oh, dude, not my 14 hour floor that destroyed my hands." The midwife had a sweet trick to get the blood off the grout though with peroxide so no harm done. I held Oz while the placenta was born. He took to nursing after he got back to his mom like a kid out in the rain. (Turns out he was a good faker, but that's another story.)
The midwife checked him out, filled out some forms and weighed him as we kind of cleaned stuff up as my wife showered and I drained the pool with the super cool venturi fish-cleaning thing. I think we used enough water to grow crops for a small African nation that night.
We called people, did some posts online, took some pictures, and got to sleep in our own bed. The poor midwife had another woman go into labor that early morning and had to rush off. I felt bad for her. I was tired.
The home birth was pretty nice. Nothing went wrong. No weird interns looking at your wife’s business. I think it will end up costing about 1/3 to 1/2 of what a hospital birth would have.
Oz is a bid jaundiced, but overall he and my wife are doing well.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfsXSDo5WD1TY1W0VXLvZg7IGPq4HBuJzGC_l2dM5350Oh4NlNwKfPr0JCNSgvDUqF4xVNRHGp6viSzlF_5t1UT4dH83d6CfA5k2rnqwF4aPkC22EvoJ3_srscjqyRncUXBjBX/s400/oz.jpg)
Labels: 55/64-27 Threads Are Stupid, Home Birth, Oz
1 Comments:
That is one cute baby.
By
Sig., at 5:53 PM, May 12, 2008
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