I’m completely socially inept

In that respect I perpetuate the stereotype of my Engineering brothers.

I have no idea how to relate to normal people or carry on a conversation with them.

My wife is going to watch a baby for a woman in the AP Group. The woman and her husband came over last night to make sure my wife wasn’t a serial killer and our house wasn’t condemned.

My wife was upstairs and the doorbell rang. I answered and they asked if my wife was there. I imagine there was a small amount of shock on their part. I had a short sleeve CCCP hammer and sickle shirt with olive drab shorts on, my tattoos flashing and my nearly baldhead and beard.

I told them I would get my wife and that they should come inside.

OK, that’s a normal way to greet someone.

They come inside and I call up to my wife that they have arrived. Carter is playing in the living room, and I go back over and kind of stand awkwardly, glancing over at Carter and kind of smiling and asking him if he can say hello.

Finally the Husband does the thing I should have done and introduced himself. Then the wife does.

The Husband asks where I got the CCCP shirt, I’m not sure if it was a, hey where did you get that cool shirt, or a hey Commie where did you get that shirt?

I blathered something about ordering it back in college. My wife finally came down and rescued me.

I left and got the stuff ready to take Carter to his swim lessons. As we were getting ready to go, the Husband asked me about North-Central Wisconsin since he was from the area as well. I had no idea what to say. I’m sure a normal human would have had all kinds of things to say about their birth area. Not me.

I was happy to leave and go swimming, even though it has it’s own socially terrible moments for me.

I have no idea what to say to the other dad’s in the locker room. I also have no idea what to say to the other parents while we are in the pool doing the fun little activities with our children.

One of my big problems is that my interests aren’t along the normal everyday Joe public’s interests. My two big hobbies/interests are hockey and tattoos. Most people like football or baseball or basketball, all of which I don’t give a fuck about, and tattooed people are still in the minority, so I typically have nothing in common with anyone I meet.