I scared myself the other day.

For a brief moment yesterday I contemplated killing myself. It scared me, because normally that thought never crosses my mind because I have a huge fear of death. When I say brief, I do mean brief. A few seconds really. The flash in my mind that if I would somehow lose my job and not be able to get another, and not be able to pay my bills from all the mounting responsibility I have, that I would have to kill myself. Just that brief thought, and the thought of a handgun. Just the gun. No actually seeing myself doing the deed or anything like that. I was fighting with my wife at the time.

Don't get scared out there in blog land. I'd have to overcome my huge fear of death before I could kill myself. A nearly insurmountable task. What was that famous poem where the guy contemplates killing himself for a brief moment? I can't remember. I just searched Google and can't find the poem I was thinking of. Ah well. Maybe I'm making it up.

I don't really know what else to say. I probably disturbed a few people now, but I felt as though I should write this. Again, don't' worry about me. I'm OK.