Thank you Big Green Phone

As I sauntered in this morning after my Satan’s day merriment (more on that in a sec), in the center of the aisle of my cubicle was a circle of my fellow employees participating in the optional (mandatory) stretching which is blared over the loud speakers of our building between 7:30 and 7:45 am. As you can guess, I think this is the dumbest think in the world.

WE WORK IN CUBICLES ALL DAY SITTING ON OUR ASSES!

We don’t need a morning stretch. I’m not going to pull anything typing on a keyboard and running a mouse.

I stretch before I play an hour and a half of hockey to make sure everything is nice and loose, not before I start to design a muffler bracket.

The gentlemen in my section have taken it to the next homoerotic level and decided to get in a circle while stretching. Imagine, if you will, 7 grown, overweight, men in a circle putting their left arm out moving their wrist around, putting their hands together pushing them down and looking up at the sky, etc, etc. It’s fucked up.

The overweight part of it gets to me too. It’s like ordering a diet soda with your double Whopper. This stretching is obviously the only physical activity these guys see all day long, but come on. Hop on a bicycle, go for a hike, take a swim, do fucking anything, and then you won’t have to stand in my cube each morning and stretch because you’ll already be loose enough to do office work. Then they wouldn’t even have to give me disapproving stares as I sit eating granola bars and drinking a soda.

The Satan’s day outing to the local strip club was a success; much fun was had by all. We met this dude from Chicago there who was down on business. His name was Sean and he was a doctor who does work on tissue and stem cells.

He was cool shit. He bought us beer, and also sported for a $15 shot of Irish whiskey. It was good stuff. He had also gone to Wisconsin for his undergrad so we shot the shit about good old Madison. He was a hockey player too so we chatted about that. He says he played for the UW men’s hockey team in ’84 and ’85. I was trying to find a roster online, but I couldn’t. If anyone can toss me a link, cause I want to see if he was bullshitting me or not.

I had to takeoff at 7:30, but one of the guys I was with stayed. Apparently Sean kept dropping cash on drinks and ladies all night long.
It was a fun time though. He had a bunch of funny stories to tell. All in all it was a successful 666 day.