Do you know how I know you suck at “C” league hockey?

1: All your gear looks like it just came out of the box. There are no cuts scratches or scrapes on your skates, your helmet, your socks, your pants, or your gloves. (Although not always a giveaway, you have to buy new shit some times)

2: You can’t get your ass over the boards on the bench. It’s really not that hard, at least give it a fucking try rather than skating right to the door and waiting for it to be opened for you. I realize I have a slight advantage when trying to climb over the boards because I’m about 6’8” on skates so the boards on the bench are only a bit above my Johnson.

3: You’re constantly being called off-sides. How hard is this? The puck goes over the blue line first not you!

4: You just wack at the puck when it comes near you. I wish that newbie’s would just handle the puck a little before they decide to blindly slap at it. Get it on your stick, feel it a bit, look up, and try to make a pass. I’d rather see you get it stolen from you trying to make a pass than have to chase after it post a wild hit.

5: You can’t skate, and you never get any better. When I couldn’t skate, I was out at open skates or open ice whenever I could until I got better.

Summer league started up this Sunday, and our team doesn’t have a goalie. C League only has three goalies and four teams. Hmmm, seems like a problem. Hopefully the league will find us a goalie by next game.

The above stuff may have sounded mean spirited seeing as how this is a beginner’s league. I don’t have a problem with beginners, since I’m no superstar, but when you don’t see any amount of learning from these people it’s frustrating.

Without a goalie we lost like 20-4 or something like that.