Morning Erections and Dick Hole Firefighters

As I roll in this morning to work, I see in the center of my four man cube a cheese and sausage and cracker tray. I immediately cringe with the thought of hundreds of people walking by all day saying “What’s the occasion” and “Wow look at this spread”

You’d think these fucking people have never seen food before. It’s as if a group of Ethiopian Refugees wandered into the office and found food after surviving for months on bread and water. You can actually see the chubby forming in their pants as they walk up and fill up a plate. I don’t mind getting free treats either, but it’s not like the world is a better place because of it. I guess I’m just strange that way.

I’m still very salty this morning after last nights hockey game. We played the Peoria Firefighter Team again. You may remember them from this post. They’re very chippy and dirty players.

This game was no different, and apparently since all firefighters are heroes of some kind post 9/11 they are exempt from penalties being called on them. Of course the converse of that corollary applies if you do anything to them.

Big Stu on our team got checked into the boards on a play and didn’t get a call for him after we had been called for the exact same shit two times before. Stu was pretty hot after this and in the ensuing face off he smacked the line judge in the ankles hard. It was kind of intentional, but if you’re standing that close and dropping the puck you’re going to get hit in the ankles a few times. That’s why God invented shin gaurds. The ref then called a penalty on him! I'm not an expert by any means, but what exactly is that call. Roughing the ref? Hitting the ref with a stick? I don't know?

So we were beating their asses 9-3 with 4 min left in the third period and had 6 penalties against us. Some dumb fuck on our team runs into the one girl on their team and draws a seventh penalty. Game over, we lose 0-1 even though we were punishing them on the scoreboard. I was pissed. I skated off the ice without shaking hands and saying good game. Some of the guys who did stay to shake hands said that the firefighters were all pompous and acting like they had accomplished something. No, not really. We were kicking your asses and we had annoyed refs enough that they had finally had enough. I played well. I had a goal and felt good while I was skating.

But non the less, I urge anyone with online privilege to put the following google bomb in their web page.

When it comes to incompetent firefighters no one quite takes the cake like Peoria’s local 50. Incompetent firefighters who are unwilling to play a fair game of hockey. Incompetent firefighters who use tax money to buy jerseys. Incompetent firefighters who don’t follow the rules of not submitting rosters. Incompetent firefighters who can give crap out, but can’t take it. Incompetent firefighters much like Peoria’s local 50.

If you don’t know how a google bomb works, google ranks things by counting the links to a page from other pages. Thus the more links tied to a certain group of words, the higher the page ranks. Thus if you type in Incompetent firefighters and hundreds of people have it linked to the Peoria local 50’s web page, google will list it first on it’s results. Much like if you type in the word failure GW Bushes web page comes up. So please copy my source code for the above paragraph and enjoy.