Life’s short and hard like a body building elf
As I sit here, I’m not really sure what to write about. It snowed last night, and I woke up to a fresh coat of snow on everything. It made me feel good. Everything looks more picturesque with an inch of snow on it. I don’t play hockey this weekend so I don’t have that to look forward to, but we are going to decorate the tree. I also decided what I really want to get from my wife for Christmas. It’s so cool. I can’t wait.
I’m really nervous about the baby being born. It’s only an estimated 33 days away. That’s not very much time. Now that a good portion of my family hates me because I’m an ingrate I’m not really sure what to do. I moved up my physc appointment so maybe that will shed some light on the whole thing. I get my performance review at work next week. I’m hoping to get an extra 1.5% raise above what I think I’m going to get. I’ve got my case put together now it’s just a matter of laying it all out.
I was fantasizing about what I would do if I won the lottery the other day. I guess that’s what happens when you get older. You no longer fantasize about fucking beautiful women. If I won $335 million dollars first I would see how long it took me to get fired by being as incompetent as possible. Not by doing anything that it’s easy to get fired for like sexual harassment or something like that, real incompetence. In this place, that could take a while, but eventually I would move back to Madison and I would buy up some property on the isthmus near campus and have the coolest tattoo parlor ever built. My only goal in owning the parlor would be to break even on the books, and just be able to get tattooed whenever I wanted. I’d just hang out and shoot the shit with artists and watch TV on the big screen I would have in their, and maybe buy a seat of Pro Engineer so I could finish the design of my tattoo machine. Then start assembling it and selling it via the Internet. Then just go around the world to tattoo conventions with my wife and son and sell my machine. That would be awesome.
Instead I am here.
In my cell, thirty-six square
Of cubicle hell.
That’s a Haiku bitches!
I’m really nervous about the baby being born. It’s only an estimated 33 days away. That’s not very much time. Now that a good portion of my family hates me because I’m an ingrate I’m not really sure what to do. I moved up my physc appointment so maybe that will shed some light on the whole thing. I get my performance review at work next week. I’m hoping to get an extra 1.5% raise above what I think I’m going to get. I’ve got my case put together now it’s just a matter of laying it all out.
I was fantasizing about what I would do if I won the lottery the other day. I guess that’s what happens when you get older. You no longer fantasize about fucking beautiful women. If I won $335 million dollars first I would see how long it took me to get fired by being as incompetent as possible. Not by doing anything that it’s easy to get fired for like sexual harassment or something like that, real incompetence. In this place, that could take a while, but eventually I would move back to Madison and I would buy up some property on the isthmus near campus and have the coolest tattoo parlor ever built. My only goal in owning the parlor would be to break even on the books, and just be able to get tattooed whenever I wanted. I’d just hang out and shoot the shit with artists and watch TV on the big screen I would have in their, and maybe buy a seat of Pro Engineer so I could finish the design of my tattoo machine. Then start assembling it and selling it via the Internet. Then just go around the world to tattoo conventions with my wife and son and sell my machine. That would be awesome.
Instead I am here.
In my cell, thirty-six square
Of cubicle hell.
That’s a Haiku bitches!
Labels: Haiku, Philosophy, Pregnancy, Tattoos
posted by lawryde at
3:37 PM
4 Comments:
nice haiku...
By
Anonymous, at 5:14 PM, December 01, 2005
your haiku sucks buddy- take another overpriced english class
By
Anonymous, at 4:27 AM, December 03, 2005
Big man anonymously ripping on someones work. I haven't taken an English class in... 6 or 7 years so I'm not really sure what you're talking about.
By
lawryde, at 10:04 AM, December 03, 2005
Yeah that Haiku was weak dude...j/k
If I won 335 million in the lottery you'd click on the link to my site and it'd say ERROR 404 File Not Found.
I'd go back to school and get an MBA and probably teach college. I'd be a shit professor...
By
Steve, at 11:31 AM, December 03, 2005
Post a Comment
<< Home