20 days... really?
That's really too long in between blog posts. One of my old friends called me out on it via a facebook message a few days ago.
I could say I have excuses, work and family and all that.
Truth is I've hit some sort of low point so this seems like as good an idea as any other. It's helped in the past right?
It doesn't feel as bad as times before, yet, at the same time it is.
I nearly punched a 2 inch thick piece of steel today I was so overwhelmed. I would have broken my hand.
At the time it didn't seem like a bad idea. I'd get to leave work, have minimal tasks after. I'd get sympathy, mind numbing pain and mind numbing endorphins and mind numbing pain killers.
He who makes a beast of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man.
All these Nihilistic and generally depressing quotes and phrases have been bombarding me all day. Thinking about all the bad things that have happened and that could happen, and wondering if my children's smiles make up for all of them.
Is it ironic or not that it's been raining all day today and still is... no you'd expect that. Bad weather to match a bad mood, too predictable.
I can only hope that hockey makes me feel better tonight. That's a true sign of depression, not enjoying what you've found pleasure in in the past.
Perhaps this will be like a steep economic recovery. A V not a U. Maybe I'll score like 3 goals tonight, and then come home and have great sex with my wife, and then sleep soundly till morning, and then maybe the sun will come out, and my machine's software will not act like mentally retarded monkeys wrote it, and maybe they'll say they are reinstating raises at work, and my kids won't be so exhausted when I come home after work that they only want to test the limits of my patience, and everything, every little thing will be all-right.
Three Little Birds and Redemption Song always make me sad in that music is so beautiful my heart aches kind of way. Bob Marley as well as David Bowie have that affect on me. I'll make sure to que that up in the MP3 player tomorrow.
I could say I have excuses, work and family and all that.
Truth is I've hit some sort of low point so this seems like as good an idea as any other. It's helped in the past right?
It doesn't feel as bad as times before, yet, at the same time it is.
I nearly punched a 2 inch thick piece of steel today I was so overwhelmed. I would have broken my hand.
At the time it didn't seem like a bad idea. I'd get to leave work, have minimal tasks after. I'd get sympathy, mind numbing pain and mind numbing endorphins and mind numbing pain killers.
He who makes a beast of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man.
All these Nihilistic and generally depressing quotes and phrases have been bombarding me all day. Thinking about all the bad things that have happened and that could happen, and wondering if my children's smiles make up for all of them.
Is it ironic or not that it's been raining all day today and still is... no you'd expect that. Bad weather to match a bad mood, too predictable.
I can only hope that hockey makes me feel better tonight. That's a true sign of depression, not enjoying what you've found pleasure in in the past.
Perhaps this will be like a steep economic recovery. A V not a U. Maybe I'll score like 3 goals tonight, and then come home and have great sex with my wife, and then sleep soundly till morning, and then maybe the sun will come out, and my machine's software will not act like mentally retarded monkeys wrote it, and maybe they'll say they are reinstating raises at work, and my kids won't be so exhausted when I come home after work that they only want to test the limits of my patience, and everything, every little thing will be all-right.
Three Little Birds and Redemption Song always make me sad in that music is so beautiful my heart aches kind of way. Bob Marley as well as David Bowie have that affect on me. I'll make sure to que that up in the MP3 player tomorrow.
posted by lawryde at
8:02 PM
1 Comments:
You're blog sucks now. I want witty awesomeness back. I always looked to your blog to make me laugh and sometimes ponder real world issues but now you got nothin. Lame. Get it together.
By
H Bomb, at 10:06 AM, November 05, 2009
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