The Hockey Sewing Circle

The Players:

Lawryde, Phil, Mike, and Drew: Slightly above average hockey players who played for a couple years on a shit team and a couple years on a good team with two cocky teenagers.

Austin and Nick: The cocky teenagers

Kerry: Nick’s dad, the unofficial captain of the good team

Armstrong: Kerry’s friend and an all around awesome dude who Lawryde, Phil, Mike, and Drew really want on their team.

Stu: A free agent C league player who Lawryde, Phil, Mike, and Drew played with on their shit team a couple years ago.

As I spoke of in previous posts, I’ve been forming a hockey team for winter league. Me and my tattooed comrades were fed up playing with Austin and Nick. They never passed the puck, and were just dicks like teenagers kind of are.

Prior to letting Kerry know we were officially off his team, I called Stu up to see if he would be on our new team. He said yes.

I then emailed Kerry and told him we were starting our own team, no hard feelings, we just wanted the league more competitive.

He calls me up and leaves a message saying hey that’s great, Can Nick and I play on your team?

What the fuck? I email him back and tell him We don’t like playing with Austin and Nick. Nothing personal, they’re just teenagers that have some growing up to do. Kerry emails me back saying he’s not going to play this winter, and most likely Nick won’t either.

Kerry calls up his friend and fellow hockey player Armstrong to cry about us breaking off and not wanting to play with him and Nick anymore. Armstrong is a cool, no nonsense kind of dude and tells Kerry he’s playing B-League this winter and Kerry should just man up and put together a team to play against our team.

Kerry hangs up and calls Stu to try and get him on his team. Stu says he’s committed to Lawryde’s team.

Kerry calls Armstrong back immediately and cries to Armstrong about me taking Stu. Kerry confirms with Armstrong that he’s not playing this summer. I guess Kerry is as about as mature as his 16 year old son only he’s in his 40’s.

I call Armstrong up this afternoon, with the assumption that Kerry is not playing so he is now a free agent, without the knowledge he told Kerry he was playing B-Leauge.

Armstrong says he knows everything already and regales me with the story of Kerry’s conversation with he and Stu.

We chat about Armstrong’s plans for Winter league, and I let him know we have some open spots on the roster, and that we really enjoyed playing with him. At first he says he might play on both leagues. Then after talking more, he’s convinced to play on my team.

Funny shit. Like a fucking soap opera.

I’m stoked for this season.