The F*ing South
I have negative radar. I can spot the flaw in something even if it’s not showing. I gravitate to leaking gas pipes. I can sense if a drain is backing up.
Two days ago my negative sense was tingling as I looked at this little rock that was sitting in my back yard right in front of my deck. “I think I should lift up that rock”, I said to myself.
I saw about 20 “white ant” looking creatures begin to scurry back underground as I lifted up the rock. I’m from Wisconsin and I don’t know what the fuck a termite looks like. I didn’t know what else they could be, so I killed one and put it in a baggy.
The next day my wife called Terminix and had them come out to take a look. They already spray our house for spiders and carpenter ants.
Sure as shit, those are termites. They haven’t made it into the house yet, and they’ve never been in the house ever. It’s only a matter of time though until they do get into the house. I have a block foundation so it inherently has cracks in it. They can work their way into the cracks and then into the wood. So, now I have to drop $1500 to get rid of the bastards. They’ll drill holes all around my house, which has concrete pads all around it, and then pump in hundreds of gallons of poison to kill them.
God I hate living this far south. Stupid termites are going to cost me like $120 bucks a month. That basically drains my expendable income until the first of the year and I get another raise.
Why do I have suck bad fucking luck? Why is God taking time from his busy schedule of killing puppies and babies to mess with me? I guess it’s good that my negativist sense was able to spot them before they made their way into my house. Then it would have cost more, and I would have had to make repairs to any damage and had a hell of a time trying to sell later. This way I get a guarantee that they’ll be gone.
Everyone, buy Instant Grocery List, I need the money to kill the bastard termites. (Or you can just click on the donate button on the this blog’s side bar and just add to the termite killing fund) Instant Grocery List is worth it, I promise. I even put an Ebay auction up so you can trust I’m not just going to take your money.
Two days ago my negative sense was tingling as I looked at this little rock that was sitting in my back yard right in front of my deck. “I think I should lift up that rock”, I said to myself.
I saw about 20 “white ant” looking creatures begin to scurry back underground as I lifted up the rock. I’m from Wisconsin and I don’t know what the fuck a termite looks like. I didn’t know what else they could be, so I killed one and put it in a baggy.
The next day my wife called Terminix and had them come out to take a look. They already spray our house for spiders and carpenter ants.
Sure as shit, those are termites. They haven’t made it into the house yet, and they’ve never been in the house ever. It’s only a matter of time though until they do get into the house. I have a block foundation so it inherently has cracks in it. They can work their way into the cracks and then into the wood. So, now I have to drop $1500 to get rid of the bastards. They’ll drill holes all around my house, which has concrete pads all around it, and then pump in hundreds of gallons of poison to kill them.
God I hate living this far south. Stupid termites are going to cost me like $120 bucks a month. That basically drains my expendable income until the first of the year and I get another raise.
Why do I have suck bad fucking luck? Why is God taking time from his busy schedule of killing puppies and babies to mess with me? I guess it’s good that my negativist sense was able to spot them before they made their way into my house. Then it would have cost more, and I would have had to make repairs to any damage and had a hell of a time trying to sell later. This way I get a guarantee that they’ll be gone.
Everyone, buy Instant Grocery List, I need the money to kill the bastard termites. (Or you can just click on the donate button on the this blog’s side bar and just add to the termite killing fund) Instant Grocery List is worth it, I promise. I even put an Ebay auction up so you can trust I’m not just going to take your money.
Labels: Home Improvements, Instant Grocery List
posted by lawryde at
10:11 AM
3 Comments:
Stretching out in my nice cozy Redwood house... Did you know termites won't eat redwood?
By
Steve, at 6:41 PM, August 22, 2006
Call the university and send the urban entomologist a soldier termite before you pay all that money to Terminix. The majority of termite species just live in the ground and don't eat houses. If you just sent Terminix any old termite, they won't be able to identify it and know whether it is the kind that eats your house because termites can only be identified using the soldier caste. So find the ones with the big heads and uber jaws and send them in to the university extension. That's their job and they're not going to try and rip you off. This is what the University of Florida Extension has to say about subterranean termites: http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/IG097
By
E, at 8:15 PM, August 22, 2006
LOL..... In the South there are two types of houses, houses that have had termite damage, and houses that are about to have termite damage. I was lucky in my time that I lived in Atlanta, no termite damage. But down there Terminix does have a garrantee anymore.
By
JPerry, at 5:00 AM, August 24, 2006
Post a Comment
<< Home