Sometimes you forget who you are, Music can bring you back
My extended weekend wasn't really anything special. We unpacked and did work around the house. So I'll discuss something else.
Recently, due to the heat, I've had to more cleverly hide my tattooed right arm. (See post below). A comrade of mine at work who knows about my ink, said "Oh man, I bet you're regretting you got that now"
Do I regret over 60 painful hours of being tattooed? Do I regret spending over $3740.00 on something that depreciated to $0.00 instantly? Fuck no.
If I could go back to the moment before I got my first and stop, a thought that did flash through my mind the second before the needles hit my skin, I wouldn't.
In American society there is no right of passage. What makes us adults? Our age. One year to the next, I don't know that I really feel any different. It didn't mean shit when I turned 16,18,or 21. I may have gotten to do a few more things, but nothing about the experience changed me in any way, or gave me a profound sense of worth. In ancient cultures you had to kill someone to be considered a man. You turn 18 and you're magically ready to vote, kill in wars, and be killed for the crimes you commit. I became a man when I was 19 years 5 months old when my backpiece was done. I had been through something that not everyone has. I had survived. I was different.
My back is the picture of my fear of death, and my vain hope that I get to go on forever. It's my belief that I'm stronger than anyone in the face of adversity, and that I determine if I sink or swim. It's my way to remember my grandparents. It's my love of wings and my fear of flying.
I didn't like that no one could see it though. That's why I got the sleeve. So everyone could see that I was a bad mother fucker, and to tell everyone that tits aren't always pornographic (Who doesn't like tits?). It's also my love of wings, and the knowledge that what flies sometimes crashes.
And then there's the green monkey. It's officially the most spontaneous thing any engineer has ever done, ever, Period. You can't take your life too seriously. Even something that will be with you forever. It doesn't matter. Fuck it. Do it. You only get one chance and one opportunity. I can look at that tattoo and laugh even when I feel like shit.
I've got one more planned. Something for my kid when it's born, and also something to remember the one that didn't make it. It deserves to be remembered too. 'Cause life isn't always fair.
Recently, due to the heat, I've had to more cleverly hide my tattooed right arm. (See post below). A comrade of mine at work who knows about my ink, said "Oh man, I bet you're regretting you got that now"
Do I regret over 60 painful hours of being tattooed? Do I regret spending over $3740.00 on something that depreciated to $0.00 instantly? Fuck no.
If I could go back to the moment before I got my first and stop, a thought that did flash through my mind the second before the needles hit my skin, I wouldn't.
In American society there is no right of passage. What makes us adults? Our age. One year to the next, I don't know that I really feel any different. It didn't mean shit when I turned 16,18,or 21. I may have gotten to do a few more things, but nothing about the experience changed me in any way, or gave me a profound sense of worth. In ancient cultures you had to kill someone to be considered a man. You turn 18 and you're magically ready to vote, kill in wars, and be killed for the crimes you commit. I became a man when I was 19 years 5 months old when my backpiece was done. I had been through something that not everyone has. I had survived. I was different.
My back is the picture of my fear of death, and my vain hope that I get to go on forever. It's my belief that I'm stronger than anyone in the face of adversity, and that I determine if I sink or swim. It's my way to remember my grandparents. It's my love of wings and my fear of flying.
I didn't like that no one could see it though. That's why I got the sleeve. So everyone could see that I was a bad mother fucker, and to tell everyone that tits aren't always pornographic (Who doesn't like tits?). It's also my love of wings, and the knowledge that what flies sometimes crashes.
And then there's the green monkey. It's officially the most spontaneous thing any engineer has ever done, ever, Period. You can't take your life too seriously. Even something that will be with you forever. It doesn't matter. Fuck it. Do it. You only get one chance and one opportunity. I can look at that tattoo and laugh even when I feel like shit.
I've got one more planned. Something for my kid when it's born, and also something to remember the one that didn't make it. It deserves to be remembered too. 'Cause life isn't always fair.
Labels: Philosophy, Tattoos
posted by lawryde at
9:54 PM
4 Comments:
Sounds like you've got a severe case of 'I want to get the hell out of here'. What's holding you up?
By
porchwise, at 10:33 PM, July 04, 2005
You are using your Blog as God (I use the term for convienence) intended Blogs to be used. Voicing your opinions and reactions to things happening in your life. You write wonderfully for a engineer-type-person though. I'm very impressed.
I also recently grew up and started my professional life, and believe me when I say that I work for a larger Corporation than you, along with everything that entails. You complain about your CEO being Republican, well, my CEO is The Republican. LOL... So I feel your pain about not being able to actually lay it all out there about everything that pisses you off about your job. Especially in the position of just starting off in our careers. Good job.
~Josh
By
JPerry, at 11:34 PM, July 04, 2005
This is quite an interesting read. Almost like the song "Ball and Chain" by Social D, except you are living breathing proof of it.
The second verse of that song tells it all really:
well i've searched and i've searched to find the perfect life- a brand new car and a brand new suit i even got me a little wife- but wherever i have gone i was sure to find myself there- you can run all your life but not go anywhere
I myself reached adulthood at 23. At 22 I had graduated college and moved to LA to get into the music biz only to discover, I had "no training or experience to speak of" I had no reasonable way of earning money or keeping a job. I just that it would be given to me because I had what I thought was a "bad ass" degree from a good school. Little did I know, at 23 I moved back home for the first time 2 years broke and penniless with 40 grand in student loan debt. I had to get a real job and well, worked out nice. I guess I use the fury and intensity of deciding whether to eat or pay the rent on time to try and excel at what I do. I still take the time to try and put a band together or play an open mic night or something while working in the corporate world.
I may be a die hard Republican but I too, like tits!
By
Steve, at 8:42 PM, July 05, 2005
Maybe for your next tattoo you should remember that lost baby.
By
Madame Awesomepants, at 11:47 PM, February 23, 2010
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